Falling

 'Heaven and earth will pass away, but my word will never pass away.'

~Matthew 24:35~

Charles Spurgeon has said plenty to influence Christian living; one of the more popular I was first introduced to in college, scrawled across a chalkboard. 'A Bible that's falling apart usually belongs to someone who isn't.'

After you look up what a chalkboard is, consider your first feelings upon hearing that statement. Relief? Curiosity? Hope? Anger?

I've felt all of these at some point. There are times when it's comforting, knowing you're not the only one freaking out. Others, there's a mix of anger and guilt... because, does crying in a fetal position on your bed for the third night- beat up Bible wrinkling under your tears- sound like someone NOT falling apart?

I have questions for God. Many that He hasn't answered for years. I battle the bitterness of those questions, stare at my broken pieces through puffy eyes, and beg for it to make sense. Or for it to stop.

Oh yes, falling is a very real, very palpable verb. The only one Satan prefers we notice. Since 1200 A.D., every definition of fall describes the dwindling or less of; a descent from a high position to a lower one.

But then, FIGHTING is a verb too!

 'But since we do not belong to the day, let us be sober, 
having put on the breastplate of faith and love, and for a helmet the hope of salvation. 
For God has not destined us for wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord, 
Jesus Christ, who died for us so that whether we are awake or asleep 
we might live with him.'
~1 Thessalonians 5:8-10~ 

That's where God wants our focus to remain, even as He holds the sword for us. There can never be the 2nd without the 1st. Recall how we are viewed as His children; so, in allowing the falling, God knows the fight required to get back up. All because He knows what to build within us. 

Strength. Resilience. 

Hope. Humility. Confidence.

So, I've pushed myself up, with wet tears and dry ones. Not completely together, but still tethered to Christ.

After all, what were Paul's last words? 'I have FOUGHT the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.' ~2 Timothy 4:7~

What did David whisper while hiding in the cave? 

'When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who knows my way... 
I have no refuge; no one cares for my life... 
Listen to my cry, for I am in DESPERATE need;... 
Set me free from my prison, that I may praise your name.' ~Psalm 142:3,4,6,7~

Only to turn out a song of praise when he was finally done fleeing? (2 Samuel 22)

...just how many times were they knocked down?

 'A Bible that's falling apart usually belongs to someone who isn't.'

In the end, be encouraged by this.