The Waiting Room

 

The hall remained in gleam and glow, even as Lucifer's shadow entered the far doors boldly. His eyes darted to finally find God's shoulder. The closest he would ever come to meeting eyes with Him again.

"So... she is born."

Hasty and inpatient; in voice, in step and with every gesture or expression. A cruel amusement if one knew how patient Darkness could be.

"Soon." God took His peripheral as the shadow of Lucifer's chin lifted. "I assumed you'd be dramatic. The child's first cry to my first step in the hall. THIS hall."

He narrowed his eyes, endless and beautiful over every tile and pillar spanning their meeting place. God saw the irony; but more importantly, saw the purpose. Many things were moving forward, coming to their crux. The place, the feeling, they mattered beyond words in those moments. God leaned against the window's edge, enjoying the love, warm and tender rising through Him.

Lucifer took a step out, arms ungnarled to feel the very air. "Wishing to erase bad memories, perhaps? Why else call me to this crossroads?"

I'm the dramatic one?

"Don't patronize me." Lucifer leaned back at the heels. "Thoughts and words remain the same in these conversations."

God's posture squared. "Then hear my voice- in MY house!"

Lucifer's boldness folded in quickly, sending his gaze to the floor. Only to sneak envious peeks at the window. "Was I not sent for?"

"As a witness." God drew a hand through the air. In and out of the frame, there were the shapes humans knew, intersected with others not explored. Same could be said for the sounds, the textures, and His favorite, the colors! He grew them every day, alongside His children. The breath of life sent down to Earth, till they were ready to meet the blinding hues and fragrances. God kept it so, for them; for the many still to join Him.

"You realize what You've set in motion," Lucifer gave a snide smile. "What you, O Highest, cannot go back on?"

"You suggest I would?" God had to chuckle. To which Darkness laughed. "You 'suggest' it will change anything. The habits I exploited from the start will be there. Now and always."

God curled His fingers, lifting the breeze to move the clouds along. They held much-needed rain, but He was too eager to miss even a glance. Lucifer scoffed loudly in the lack of attention. "You really think by making it easier-"

Easy!!?!!

Darkness stopped, leaning a shoulder on a nearby pillar to mask any shuddering. Rain began its cascade form the clouds and God felt the earth sigh at the rapid drops soaking and storing in the dirt below. At their trinkle, soft notes of a chorus starting to abound. 

"How will this one live?" Lucifer challenged. 

God raised a brow. "As any other." 

Darkness drew himself up, the thoughts pleasing him. "Any other..." 

The voices continued their march toward the hall. Yet Lucifer seized his few moments. "You banish me on my belly, but that is eye-level with Your precious sons and daughters. Gloat Your great sacrifice, foretell of Your grievous pain; their growth will never change. For choice must remain; correct?"

The finiteness to his words could make God laugh, were the underlying desperation not so sad. He stayed by the window, counting the seconds to the sound of the rain. "Must you always crave the attention?"

Darkness made his next steps to echo along the hall. Again, arms out and fingers spread. "You'll remember, Highest, how they followed me out. Out of Your very ranks." He faced the throne, showing off his grin. "I was chosen. Then again, by Eve."

He placed a hand on the armrest, recalling the battle. "Shall I name more? While we wait for this 'innocent' baby?"

'Just another weak rock in the feeble heap of Your attempts," Lucifer's laugh echoed, enjoying his spotlight. Fueled in pride, still hungry and palpable. "Those You 'love'. These circumstances being so special, but You continue to hand them right to me!"

His shadow vanished with God's radiance reminding him where he stood. This voice would not ruin His anticipation.

"The hour I turn My head," God looked back on Darkness, incapable of standing straight in the true brilliance of the throne room. "You will hide. On your belly, you'll remember where this ends."

Even with His rock-hard voice, God remained watching. For He never missed a birth. But oh, how Darkness hated to be ignored. He stayed turned, breathing heavily. "I grow louder every day down there. And You shall carry wounds before I'm done speaking."

"As shall you." was God's only reply, sending comfort and strength down. I am with you. You will not stumble.

He felt Darkness' scowl at His concentration. "What were the words You used?" 

"'Concerning things to come'," God halted Lucifer, the same as any creation. By now the angels floated into the hall, taking the words up. "For unto us, a child is born..." 

Indeed, Darkness froze, fighting the cringe of Isaiah. God's eyes only lifted as the chorus rose from both sides of the hall. "And he will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God."

"Everlasting Father," God pronounced with them. "Prince of Peace!"

Rows and rows of the chorus resounded the walls in ecstasy. "The zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this!"

Their final verberation met the child's first cry, startled and gasping at the air in its lungs. The angels glowed and God beamed- and Lucifer shrank away. Yet held eyes so fierce and so beautiful. "Earth is still mine, Highest! Sin was invited in before it ever entered!"

God glimpsed back. "Now obedience has entered. From obedience will come hope. From hope, a forgiveness without blood. The veil will be torn."

Darkness could no longer speak, eyes wide. God nodded to the doors, dismissing him. "This is a celebration. You may go."

His exit was drowned out as the chorus' struck up again. God looked down once more, grinning in endless love at His daughter's face. "Welcome, Mary."

20 Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, 21 equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

~Hebrews 13:20-21~

MERRY CHRISTMAS!   

Falling

 'Heaven and earth will pass away, but my word will never pass away.'

~Matthew 24:35~

Charles Spurgeon has said plenty to influence Christian living; one of the more popular I was first introduced to in college, scrawled across a chalkboard. 'A Bible that's falling apart usually belongs to someone who isn't.'

After you look up what a chalkboard is, consider your first feelings upon hearing that statement. Relief? Curiosity? Hope? Anger?

I've felt all of these at some point. There are times when it's comforting, knowing you're not the only one freaking out. Others, there's a mix of anger and guilt... because, does crying in a fetal position on your bed for the third night- beat up Bible wrinkling under your tears- sound like someone NOT falling apart?

I have questions for God. Many that He hasn't answered for years. I battle the bitterness of those questions, stare at my broken pieces through puffy eyes, and beg for it to make sense. Or for it to stop.

Oh yes, falling is a very real, very palpable verb. The only one Satan prefers we notice. Since 1200 A.D., every definition of fall describes the dwindling or less of; a descent from a high position to a lower one.

But then, FIGHTING is a verb too!

 'But since we do not belong to the day, let us be sober, 
having put on the breastplate of faith and love, and for a helmet the hope of salvation. 
For God has not destined us for wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord, 
Jesus Christ, who died for us so that whether we are awake or asleep 
we might live with him.'
~1 Thessalonians 5:8-10~ 

That's where God wants our focus to remain, even as He holds the sword for us. There can never be the 2nd without the 1st. Recall how we are viewed as His children; so, in allowing the falling, God knows the fight required to get back up. All because He knows what to build within us. 

Strength. Resilience. 

Hope. Humility. Confidence.

So, I've pushed myself up, with wet tears and dry ones. Not completely together, but still tethered to Christ.

After all, what were Paul's last words? 'I have FOUGHT the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.' ~2 Timothy 4:7~

What did David whisper while hiding in the cave? 

'When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who knows my way... 
I have no refuge; no one cares for my life... 
Listen to my cry, for I am in DESPERATE need;... 
Set me free from my prison, that I may praise your name.' ~Psalm 142:3,4,6,7~

Only to turn out a song of praise when he was finally done fleeing? (2 Samuel 22)

...just how many times were they knocked down?

 'A Bible that's falling apart usually belongs to someone who isn't.'

In the end, be encouraged by this.

For Glory

 'Praise be to his glorious name forever; 

may the whole earth be filled with his glory. Amen and amen.'

~Psalm 72:19~

Why do you talk about God? Not when, who with, or even how often (Matthew 6:5). WHY?

Speaking out about beliefs is a big deal, and we can easily become loud about it. Our focus shifts to 'See? This is what I believe, see!' We do a good job of standing up for ourselves and fellow believers applaud us for that. Support that in itself is not bad... as long as it doesn't overtake our greater purpose.

'The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains' ~Philippians 1:7~

'Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.' ~Philippians 2:3~ 

I've asked myself many times WHAT that looks like. How do I approach my testimony or carry out my discipleship in earnest? Then a picture came to mind two nights ago whilst researching neurological disorders. Musicians. 

By minute, hour, and year, musicians work their fingers to the bone to set off the perfect notes from their instrument. And people listen; the bass, the strings, the woodwinds... even to a guitar strummed on a street corner. Sure, some may watch their fingers zing like lightening or the uniform flip of a composition page. Bottom line though, they hear the result. It's what they walk away with; and remember.

The instruments are the means to this explosive art, but outside the musical experts, people don't gather to gawk at the taught strings or polished wood. The audience seeks to become completely engrossed in the symphony- a 20 piece, 50 piece, or 100 piece orchestra, all equal ONE piece of masterful and moving music. 

Such is the same in our discipleship. We don't want people's eyes on us, but attuned to the music. Hear the message of God' s love because that's the whole point of talking about Him. I don't want people telling me what a great writer I am. I want your attention drawn toward God...

                John 3:16                    John 14:6                 Hebrews 1:3               Hebrews 3:6

Once you notice Him, you won't even remember me. That's what I want.

'For God, who said "Let light shine out of darkness" made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God's glory displayed in the face of Christ,'

~2 Corinthians 4:6~

Pushback

 "I will never leave you nor forsake you." God has stated (Hebrews 13:5)

"Why have you forsaken me?" the Israelites, King David, and others- including JESUS- cry out in the Bible... the first of countless Christians to do so. We quote this question because that's how low we feel at times. Driven into the loneliest of corners from all sides. In pain and frustration, all we're left with is our limited knowledge, space, time, and understanding.

Because we ARE limited. 

Not that we ever want to admit it or acknowledge how weak we are. But that's what a relationship with God is... love, based on trust.

"I will never leave you or forsake you." (Deuteronomy 31:6 & 8)

The certainty of this verse rests on its source. An all-knowing God. Knowing it's okay to yell, cry, and even to question. That it's alright to move ahead without all the answers. That it's okay if you let something else lead the way.

"I will never leave you nor forsake you." (Joshua 1:5)

Searching the Sky

~Psalm 139:7-8~

 I took a drive this evening.

I was looking for this month's full moon, dubbed the 'Strawberry Moon'. It sounded cute and something different outside the eerie Harvest moons I'm used to seeing. Peak illumination due at 9:08, I set off. I saw a heat-muted sky as another summer sun was setting. Soft, pillowy oranges, pinks, and a deepening blue... clouds clinging to the last reflections of the day's melting rays.

Yet, no moon.

I couldn't find it... correction, I couldn't see it.

But I know it was there, due to years of constant evidence, agreed upon across countless cultures.

I can't see God. And right now- for a long while in fact- I haven't been able to see what He wants next for my life. By the end of this post, I'm still not likely to know. All I do is move forward, following a Father who loves me.

Such seasons are like searching the sky, as I did tonight. You don't always spot what you're looking for or hoping to find. But you know it's there.

With God it's the same backing of evidence, witnessed and recorded by dozens of ethnicities across decades. So that even centuries later, we can remain certain of what we're searching for. Even when we can't see it.

Why does that certainty matter? Because, while I don't have the answers, the search remains rooted in a God who certainly loves me... and you!

Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance— 

for understanding proverbs and parables, the sayings and riddles of the wise.

~Proverbs 1:5-6~

  

I Will Pray

'Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.' ~Colossians 4:2~

"I will pray for you."

What do you think it means when someone says that to you? You hear it from loved ones, friends, or a random person you've bled your heart to for the past half hour.

My personal take: Yes, I'm going to take more of my time to think about you. I'm going to speak on your behalf; back you up before the Creator (whom already cares deeply about you).

This is the standard I hold myself to. 'Never be lacing in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.' (Romans 12:11-13)

Why? For Christians, prayer is our adamant communication with God. It is the countermeasure for everything our sinful, broken (beautiful) world throws at us:

'Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ~Philippians 4:6~

'Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him... And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well... Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.' ~James 5:13-16~

Prayer is the highway where we spill our feelings, desires, and thanks toward God. They are spontaneous, yet concentrated. Solitary, while practiced (and encouraged) in partners or groups. Sometimes spoken, sometimes not even whispered:

'In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.' ~ Romans 8:26~

However, when we fall to our knees (or press our forehead to the steering wheel, clutch a pillow to our chest, or smile with tears through our closed eyes), it's not just us we're lifting up. Those around us, seen and unseen.

'Be joyful always, pray continually ; give thanks in ALL circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.'~1 Thessalonians 5:16-18~

'But I tell you; Love your enemies (those who curse you in other translations) and pray for those who persecute you.' ~Matthew 5:44~ 

I disclose the agony of prayer to to steal from the joy and hope of its spiritual intimacy, but to more fully paint its picture to those we pray for. And to you, yes YOU, I leave this much more:

'I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope in which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints...' ~Ephesians 1:16-18~

'I will pray for you'... what's your definition of that? 

'And pay in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.' ~Ephesians 6:18~

So Selfish!

 

'And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.'

 ~Romans 8:28~

Even in the face of this assurance, people can, will, and do argue how selfish God is. How dare He! Everything goes by his will, his plan, his course of action (Romans 12:2b). Doesn't He care about us? Being the creator, shouldn't caring about our desires be a no brainer? 

Have you looked up the word 'selfish'? It means being devoted only to oneself; primarily concerned with one's own benefits, beliefs, welfare, etc.

God is indeed driven by purpose, his purpose as we can relate to. For work, for family, for self-fulfillment, we understand what it is to reach each day for the endgame. But there is an important detail to remember with this- the anchor of any of God's motives and plans. Which is OUR needs!

'Blessed is the one whom God corrects, so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty' 

~Job 5:17~

This is spoken to JOB. The same Job who lost everything! His property, his wealth, and all of his children. Actions that all revolved around this man's ability to trust in God's purpose. A purpose that is lead by a singular love for His child.

So why does something so loving and selfless come across as self-centered? Because, well, we are the child. And a child's understanding is always pigeon-holed of their parent's discipline, restrictions, and the ever-resounding 'NO!'.

'A rod and a reprimand impart wisdom, but a child left undisciplined disgraces its mother.' ~Proverbs 29:15~

God sees the needs for our hearts, minds, and bodies- the ones we can see and more vitally, those we can't see. Our biggest need is an eternal life and relationship and Him. For believers, this is where all roads lead. The rough part is remaining on these roads and remaining assured of where they lead;

'Blessed is the one you discipline, Lord, the one you teach from your law; you grant them relief from days of trouble till a pit is dug for the wicked. For the Lord will not reject his people; he will never forsake his inheritance.' 

~Psalm 94:12-14~

We are human; we have ideas about how life should go. But, we are humans loved by the One who is always picturing the best life for us!