And So I Read

So... I've had a lot to think about in the last few days. To the point where my sleep is inadequate, my chest is in a constant tightened position, and my brain has begun to smoke... in that my thoughts are literally starting to fry and burn my neurons! Attempting to organize- or rather subdue them- I turned to my Bible. And I went right to the passage that I've been meditating on throughout the Lent season...

'...we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know 

that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, 

character; and character hope. And hope DOES NOT disappoint us, 

because God has poured out his love into our hearts...'

'You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.'

~Romans 5:3-6~

'The right time'. It never occurred to me before that God PICKED 30 A.D. as the year of Jesus' persecution, death, and resurrection. Not the year before, the decade prior, or within the decade following it. But that specific long 'weekend' to have the people witness His miracle and act of love.

This precision is echoed through the gospels; Jesus telling his disciples multiple times that it 'must happen this way' (Matthew 26:54). A way that involved humiliation and mocking, brutal beatings and floggings. It was also one that Jesus did not turn from. Like God, He knew the end goal.

This is the time of year that we reflect on His choice. Maybe we can't answer the 'when' (Many of us are no doubt asking WHY NOW?) but we know the 'why'. The reason He pained, and allowed rejection and slaughter.

Because He would bear that before bearing our eternal separation from Him.

My take away from that is how God took a moment... and He made a decision...

My chest is still tight. But not as tight as it has been. I trust that it will be less tight tomorrow.

The Evening Snow

✅ BEDTIME STORY
                    Beverly closed the book with its final sentence. Yet, she didn't make a move to get up. Any kind of motion was impossible with her comforter and three other blankets over her lap, and a child barricading her in on each side. The bedside lamp glowed over them, adding to the atmosphere of the bedroom... restful and snuggly. The fall of the flakes had brought twilight soon enough and she and Glenn had eventually got the boys to wind down for the final ritual of the day.
                    Kaley was of course down for the night, and Glenn was working. It soothed him like the bedtime story had soothed her sons from arguing. Only Ivan was asleep though. Brandon, no surprise,   had taken the book from her. Probably to replace with the one about the dinosaur crashing Christmas dinner. Beverly eased back into her pile of pillows, simply basking in this cocoon of warmth. It truly is the little things, Lord. 
                   It was an old truth, but never one to grow tired of. Beverly glanced up as Brandon pushed himself farther in. She pulled his bear, Sandy, out of the way to keep from being squished. She patted down his tan fur, though it was pointless. All their children had one, but Brandon's was the most beat up; or perhaps the most loved. Beverly went back to eyeing Brandon with the book. "Another one?"
                   "You can read." Brandon waved her off, head against her chest. "I just wanna look."
                   Just look? Beverly kept herself from repeating. Brandon wanted never to just look at anything. She occupied herself with grooming Sandy while watching Brandon turn the colorful pages. She absorbed the quiet; wondering what was on his mind.
                    "She looks like you, Mom." Brandon referred to the story's little girl. Beverly continued to tug with Sandy's ear. "That's me, huh?"
                    Brandon nodded. He then pointed to the angel beside the girl. "Do angels actually have faces?"
                    Wow, he was being thoughtful tonight. Beverly hoped this wasn't a scam to keep from going to bed. "I suppose... angels don't look like anyone else on earth."
                    Ivan stirred and snorted. Beverly moved a hand through his hair. It soothed him and he settled. There was another page turn and Brandon pushed himself closer to Beverly. He spotted Sandy and grabbed his paw, and consequently Beverly's fingers. She let him squeeze them, his focus split between her fingernails and wedding ring. A penny for his thoughts, Father... Please! 
                    His hand, rough and tough with hours of play, covered the pale, pink ribbon over Sandy's chest. That was thanks to Glenn's mother, who'd stepped in more then once when they'd needed her. Beverly finally squeezed Brandon's hand back. "We had a good day, didn't we."
                    "Yeah," Brandon sighed out of his deep thought. "And I'm happy with you again."
                    "You are." Beverly held back tears.
                    "So..." Brandon tilted his head. "Can I watch some Spacemen?"
                    There it was! Beverly drove a tickle into his tummy. "No!"
                    Thankfully teeth had already been brushed, so the battle into bed only took ten minutes. Beverly cancelled any thoughts of no school tomorrow, kissed them both, then found her downstairs. She smiled at the sight of the candles, the only light framing the dining room. Outside, it was still cold, but they were sheltered from it in here. Beverly sat down were she could appreciate the shadows better. A few quiet minutes passed before Glenn walked out of the den. He seemed surprised to find her there. "What're you doing?"
                   Beverly turned her head with a smile. Glenn's eyebrows raised. "What's wrong?"
                   "Nothing." Beverly promised, wiping at her cheeks. "I just... really love snow days."

THE END

P.S. Many thanks to my sister, who loves snow days as much as me, and helped me create these characters! 

                   

In the Quiet Wintertime

✅BOARD GAMES

                    Ivan got his wish for Jack Frost, though he and Glenn were the only ones enjoying it. Beverly was content to watch the snow and Brandon was too busy fighting his eyelids. Already four years old, his naps were numbered, but he'd been protesting them since being born. All the fresh air, exercise, and warm food however, he lost the battle after twenty minutes and was snoozing away with the end credits.
                    What Beverly didn't expect was for Glenn to be snoozing right along with him! Normally, he'd try to get some work done during nap time.
                   Not today. Beverly motioned to Ivan with her eyes as she dimmed the lights. Ivan snapped the TV off and Beverly took up one of their mammoth blankets. Past experience dictated not moving either of them, so she draped it carefully over her husband and child. She wanted to laugh at the lumpy pair they made, but settled for a snicker as she cleared the pokers and sticky napkins into the kitchen. An accumulating mass greeted her from the sink, which, Beverly knew, would only get worse after dinner. Napkins discarded in the trash, Beverly stared at the dishes and almost convinced herself to tackle them.
                    But then Ivan tapped her arm. He stood beside her with a box. "Scrabble?"
                    No wait, dishes first! Beverly's common sense protested- faintly- before she smiled. "Absolutely."
                    They set up on the dining room table, minding the cheap clinks of the wood-letter tiles. Beverly was tempted to play more music, but another glance at the windows and she felt a break in the wintery silence unnecessary. She had barely set up her tiles when Ivan was out the gate with ADMIT. Beverly shook her head. "Reading the dictionary again?"
                    "Our teacher uses the phrase 'well, I admit' a lot." Ivan studied Beverly's first word, MOAT.
                    "What's she admitting to?" Beverly ventured. Ivan paused, then moved TAXES onto the board. "Not knowing the real answer."
                    Beverly cupped a hand over her mouth, staring at her son. Ivan cocked a brow. "What?"
                    "You..." Beverly shifted her tiles, forming her next word. "You just make me very PROUD."
                    Ivan's face lit up with the praise, grinning at her. "And you make this too easy, Mom."
                    GALLOP. Beverly blew hair from her eyes, adding to his score grudgingly. The best she was able to follow up with was LAD. Only for Ivan to respond with ANVIL.
                    Lord, I was lucky to pass 6th grade English! Beverly gave a familiar rant. How is this kid mine? 
                    Beverly ran a hand over the table's smooth surface, hoping to will an outmaneuver to appear. It didn't and she had to go with US. She waited for Ivan to stun her again, looking up when he didn't. Rather, he was glancing out the window at the snow. He looked back, his grin softer. "Days like these are nice."
                    Beverly eyed the snow as well; still falling, still coating the world in its sugary brilliance. Much like the snow, there was no hurry- from anywhere or to anywhere. There was just; sleeping, sipping hot chocolate, and playing a game. She shared Ivan's grin. "That they are."
                  

And The Snow Falls On

✅CHRISTMAS SPECIALS BY THE FIRE
                    Beverly's toes still tingled with cold within her fleece-lined cabin socks. New pairs were tradition for her family every year, but hers were typically worn through before April! And they were lucky if any of their children's socks remained a pair before New Year's.
                    "Greech!" Kaley exclaimed, indicating which video she wanted to watch. To which Ivan quickly retorted. "Jack Frost- Mom, I hardly picked any of our movies last year!"
                    Kaley mounted herself on the fluffy, coffee brown pillows of the couch. "Grech, Grech!"
                    Ivan shook his head. "Jack Frost... maybe Frosty... but Jack Frost."
                    "Grech, Greeeeeccc-"
                    Beverly chose to ignore it for the moment. Kaley's chanting was a regular anthem around here. She was more interested in getting their tray to the ottoman without dropping it. Doing so would take care of everything.
                    Sure enough, Kaley's gabbing stopped and even Ivan paused, eyes zeroing in on the food. Grilled cheese, halved peppers and carrots with ranch, and chips. They would be the perfect munchies while their marshmallows roasted over the fire.
                    Glenn was lighting the kindling right now with Brandon standing dutifully with the logs. Their middle child was even more spit-fired then Kaley, but when it came to 'man's work', he was as silent and studious as an Ivy League student. He carried out even the slightest actions with precision and care. Beverly even trusted him to put away the dishes. Only not today. It begot the point of the snow blocked roads and drifted driveways.
                     "Daddy doesn't pick often," Beverly tucked a napkin into the collar of Kaley's sweatshirt as she snuggled- or rather stomped- into Beverly's lap to eat. Ivan straddled the couch arm, appealing to his father. "Dad, you want to watch Jack Frost, right?"
                     Glenn and Brandon held a log between them, ready for the baby flames. Glenn raised a brow at his sons. "The Christmas Village?"
                    "NOO!" Both boys cried and Glenn shared a grin with Beverly. "Aw, but it's Mommy's fav-"
                    "The Grinch is a much more fulfilling watch." Ivan defused the idea.
                    "Winter on Willow Ranch," Beverly suggested, messing at Kaley's tangled ponytail. It was an old black and white that still proved entertaining- and meaningful. Beverly had yet to watch the ending through dry eyes. Besides, horses were always a win! She directed Kaley's fingers from the marshmallows to the vegetables- which all three of them were eating! The fire began its blaze and an idea sparked. "How about The Snowman?"
                   "Fro'ty?" Kaley tilted her head up.
                    "The other snowman." Beverly told her lovingly. The living room enjoyed momentary silence as the family considered it. However, Beverly's tone pretty much cemented the choice. So, while Ivan fished out the DVD, she got the others situated with their plates.
                    "I DON'T want carrots!" Brandon whined immediately. Beverly eased his plate back in front of him. "Yet, there they are."
                    "I don't LIKE carrots!"
                    "They'll improve your eyesight." Ivan put in, though he eyed his own veggies in distain.
                    "Can't let them go to waste." Beverly went on dicing Kaley's grilled cheese. Brandon's carrots were suddenly tossed on her plate, the defiant steel in her son's brown eyes. "No! I'm not eating-"
                    "You can eat them down here with your family or alone up in your room." Beverly told him. This was a rule Brandon was familiar with; as an attention seeker, it was his worse nightmare. Beverly stared off with him until his shoulders slumped, allowing her to put the carrots back. But he kept his face scrunched, jerking his plate into his lap. "I'm not happy with you."
                    And he climbed onto the couch, away from his evil mother. Beverly cast a look at Glenn and they shared a shrug. Glenn closed the fire's grate and crossed the room to sit with Brandon as the opening chords of 'The Snowman' strummed into the living room. Ivan, meanwhile, took his lunch with little fuss and Kaley shoved into her mouth with reckless abandon. They became mute, letting the program do the talking- or rather, the telling.
                    In time, when the program was no speech and all expression took flight, Beverly moved and Kaley by the fire. The water and mugs waited in the kitchen, but they couldn't have plain white 'malkos' in their cocoa. She began sticking marshmallows on their wooden pokers, glimpsing two things as she did. One, the return fo the large, puffy snowflakes outside their windows. Slight condensation edged the panes, but inside was all warm and cozy. And it wasn't just because of her socks and robe.
                    Second, as Ivan muted away on his crusts, Glenn had gotten Brandon on his lap. And now and then, whispered a few things in their son's angry-red ear. Beverly knew what he was talking to him about. She loved his gentle approach with the kids... gentleness, patience, and a killer jaw! That's my man! 
                    Kaley fought for control of a poker, but her grip was fleeting. Beverly grinned, seeing her ulterior motive working. Sure enough, Kaley was soon asleep and Beverly could cradle her onto her shoulder. She pulled the pokers out, then motioned to Glenn as she stood and walked out. Enjoying the scent of their daughter's weathered hair, Beverly settled her into her crib. She expected the gentle heat to leave her when she had laid Kaley down, but it didn't. Smiling, Beverly carried the warmth back downstairs and warmed the water, soon replacing the plates with mugs. She kissed Ivan on the head, even while his attention remained on the program's end. "Who wants a 'malko'?"

~To Be Continued~

Still A Snow Day

✅ FORT BUILDING
                    Kaley made it six steps before she toppled face first... again! So sure footed across any surface, except the snow. Glenn scooped her up easy, only for Kaley to kick her legs for another try. Without a doubt, their rambunctious daughter was looking to climb the walls of the family fort. She had always been ready to copy her big brother, Brandon; who at the moment, hung like a monkey on their left rampart.
                    Beverly raised her hand under Brandon's bottom, giving him the needed boost over the wall. He rolled into the 'courtyard', white powder covering him head to toe, only to hop back up, arms spread in his bright orange snowsuit. "I am Mountain Man!"
                    "Mom, where's the small spade?" Ivan was crawling out of the low doorway into the fort, taking no notice of Brandon's stomping and posing.
                    "Dooowwwnn!" Kaley begged Glenn again.
                    Amidst all the demands, as biting as the air that slipped through their gloves and scarves, Beverly and Glenn kept the balance between the strategy of their eldest and the destruction of their two youngest. Most people just threw snow into a pile into it possibly resembled a house or beaver den. Not the Marcsons. A colossal snow fort was a tradition which Glenn had brought to their marriage. Nothing less than four rooms with outer walls like a fortress, and a roof; if the accumulation was durable enough.
                    The snow today did not disappoint!
                    "Here." Glenn traded Kaley off to Beverly. "You'll want to pack in these corners for stability."
                    Glenn switched places with Beverly, getting in with Ivan to 'stabilize' their fort. Toddler on her hip, Beverly bent down to where Brandon licked at the snow resting on his glove. She snickered. "Good?"
                    Brandon waved his hand at her, nose cherry and wet. "This'll make Mountain Man strong!"
                    "I'm sure." Beverly put herself down cross-legged; a welcome position after an hour of stacking. Despite the cold across her face, sweat lined her brow and a mess of her hair had slipped from under her hood. Same with Kaley and Brandon's blond hair. In short, they looked like their father and acted like her.... challenging the laws of physics wherever they went. While Ivan retained Glenn's level-headedness, loving to point out what his siblings always did wrong.
                    However, Beverly rejected the over-analysis of her children. She was just happy to see them all wear those carefree expressions of a worryless day. There was indeed a uniqueness to the feeling of a snow day. Once Beverly had realized this, halting the 4WD brakes and celebrating the surprise holiday became her new family project. She and Glenn had talked about their rare situation- she a teacher and half of his architect contracts were work from home- and how it needed to be taken advantage of.
                    And as chilling and thrilling as they had made it so far, the snow fort was just the tip of the iceberg!

~To Be Continued~

A Marcson Snow Day

✅ THE GOOD NEWS
                    Was it possible?
                    Beverly enlarged the report on her screen, the glow mirroring her growing grin. Heavenly Father, it is!
                    The squeal came up from her toes, casting off whatever sleep lingered on her eyelids. Rolling under the cover of down that was their comforter, Beverly put her phone over Glenn's shoulder so he could see it. Well, if his eyes had been open.
                    "Nine inches," Beverly giggled into her husband's ear. "with ice. Snow day, babe."
                    She got REM-induced mumbles in reply. Something about being insane.
                    "Yes, God is good to us." Beverly kissed Glenn's temple and slipped out of bed so as not to disturb. Her grittiness followed her to the jack-n-jill bathroom, where she wrestled her chestnut hair into a tie. Not today, bedhead. There's too much winter to enjoy! 
                    Everyone had been content with the so-so season the county had had this year. No slush, no fuss as any rational person might think. Good thing 'rational' didn't apply to Beverly... if only because she never stood still long enough to let it!
                    Hair up, Beverly snatched her fuzzy pink-striped socks off the rim of the tub where they'd been drying. Next came her terry-cloth robe, hugging her in its softness as she tiptoed for the stairs. So much to do... but first things first.

✅ BREAKFAST
                    "You didn't wake us up."
                    Beverly turned her head from the sizzling stove of potatoes and eggs. Ivan stared in the threshold of the kitchen, pajamas as lopsided as his hair. She raised her brow. "Did I need to?"
                    Ivan's own brow- so serious for seven- knitted together. He eyed her in confusion, hearing the Christmas music from the player, sensing the heartwarming smells of breakfast... and not getting it. Until his eyebrows rose in illumination and he dashed from sight, heading for the bay window. Beverly smiled for his excitement. Outside, he'd find the sun sparkling across a gaping field of billowy white. All the branches bowed down in their ice crowns while the sun peeked in and out of wispy clouds that promised further snowfall.
                    Beverly could hardly wait to feel the flakes kiss her nose and cheeks. But first, breakfast! Frolicking amid drifts of snow could not be done on an empty stomach. Beverly flipped the potatoes so they didn't burn, opening the oven with her other hand. Cinnamon wafted off the slices of french toast that were turning to gold. Ah, the joys of baking, Lord... 
                    She was at risk of overusing that word today, but she was too happy to care. She'd been sick for the last snow day and this food had about to go to waste. She was making up for lost time. Beverly closed the oven, almost missing the coos over the baby monitor. "Ma,ma,ma,ma,ma,ma."
                    "Ivan." Beverly called him away from the window. "Will you go get Kaley?"
                    Ivan poked his head in, pouted lip in place. "But she wants you."
                    "I'm busy making sure we have fuel to build our fort." Beverly twirled her spatula in emphasis. "And bring your tablet down too."
                    "Dad's phone too?" Ivan assumed. Beverly winked. "Of course."
                    The policy had taken a while to fall into effect, but Beverly and Glenn looked on it now with a renewed gaze of gratitude. Evenings, holidays, and certain weeks of summer, all electronics entered 'the cabinet'. Special conditions applied to emergencies, but aside from the CD/DVD player in the living room, no device was accessible to the Marcson family until quality time had been fulfilled. Beverly's own laptop and phone were already up there, collecting dust.
                    Ain't nothing distracting us from this. Beverly fawned her oven mitts to pull out her perfect french toast.

~To Be Continued~ 

Ready, Set, Glorify!

Beginning the new year off, I have naturally been sighting all of my flaws under a lab microscope to see what I need to get rid of.

Surprisingly, the list looks much the same as it did last year. Despressing me, and nearly overshadowing my hope of being the best human being on the earth this year. Then, I get hit over the head with this verse:

'Let your light so shine before men, 

that they may see your good works and glorify 

your Father in heaven.'

~Matthew 5:16 (NKJV)~

Wanting to be better and remake ourselves is a most familiar momentum. We live in it for the first few weeks of the new year (for those truly dedicated, until February!) before sputtering and struggling, and finally giving up on it. In a sense, that's a wise thing to do.

1) You can't become better, or wiser, or any of that alone; pushing for any radical change right out of the New Year's gate is a fool's errand.

2) It's never been about us or our accomplishments to begin with.

I'm going to let the verse fill in the blanks because I can't out do the gospels. We're not foolish for wanting to better ourselves, our relations, or our habits. But, we are foolish if we don't plan on getting the right help or having the proper goal in mind. For a Christian, that's to honor God, and to seek Him out.

So, whatever changes, goals, or milestones you're wanting to reach this year (heck, even in this decade), start it off the right way. WITH God and FOR God.

'Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, 

let us throw off EVERYTHING that hinders 

and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run 

with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes 

on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.'

~Hebrews 12:1-2 (NIV)~