Reason Enough ~ Regained

          

          "REESE!"

          Justin's panicked voice surprised her. Not nearly as much as the air-ripping blast that instantly followed it. Reese whipped around, her gun back up in front of her. Survival and plain logic coming into play, she aimed it back at the crippled Rashid.

          He laid on his stomach now, deep red staining the robes from where the bullet had split his spine. His hands fumbled, touching the fatal wound in shock. In the process, he dropped the cocked, concealed pistol. Reese looked at it in alarm, realizing who its first lead pellet had been meant for. She looked back up, catching Rashid's eyes. For the final second they continued to glare and fester their hate on her, before glassing over and stilling. His chest too.

          And with that, he was dead. A full breath finally entered Reese, pumping her lungs back into the steady rhythm they'd lost. Rashid was dead. Again she lowered her gun and lifted her eyes farther up the aisle of the mosque. She found Justin standing, a gun of his own raised. God's wrath on Rashid... His mercy upon her... which one had just played out through her younger brother?

          "He didn't give you a choice." Reese spoke up, the same sentence expressing her gratitude. A moment passed before Justin tore his eyes off of the body and met hers. They were a light, almost transparent shade of sea green. Just like Mom's, though some of their shine had been dimmed by reality. Dimmed, yet revolutionized at the same time. Reese tried to think of something to say that might settle them, but Justin cut her off. "Let's go get Spence."

          Reese thought to smile, but knew it wasn't the time. Justin didn't rejoice in death, as no one should. Yet, she couldn't help feeling relief in knowing Rashid's soul had now departed the earth.  But she dismissed it as they both put their guns at the ready and headed to the prayer room. A small space for kneeling was laid out, with curtains of solemn muslin cloth covering all of the walls. Reese and Justin wasted no time in whacking them back, searching for the hidden passage.

          "Here." Justin exclaimed as the left side fell away to reveal a narrow doorway, leading down five or so stone steps. "Spencer?"

          "Spencer!" Reese echoed him, trying to hide the sudden frantic in her voice. She hovered behind Justin as he started down the steps, spying a bolted door at the end. She turned back to her prayers as he wrestled with the lock. Please, Lord... You gave me the strength not to shoot. Give my brother the strength to answer!

          "Spencer!" Reese ordered her sibling's name now, demanding an answer as her eyes blinked to adjust to the darkness behind the door.

          "Reese?"

          She about wilted in relief and she pushed past Justin, falling to the cool ground of the tiny room. Her hand instantly connected with a leg. Reese surpassed a squeal, feeling up the leg to a lean torso as Justin kneeled beside her. Her hand passed over a heavily breathing chest, moved up a thick neck, and finally touched Spencer's face. As his own fingers came to touch hers. "Reese's Cup, what're you doing here?"

          Reese cringed at the damp sensation of blood along Spencer's cheek and the swollen skin around his eyes, but she bent down and kissed his forehead anyway. "Hey bro. We've missed you."

          "I miss daylight." Spencer groaned, but she heard the infallible teasing tone in his voice.

          "Let's get out of here, huh?" Justin spoke up, his own voice a mix of emotions. Spencer coughed as he tried to sit up. "That a... rhetorical question?"

          His face met theirs when it hit the dim shaft of light they had let into his prison. There was no denying the faint glints of tears in his eyes. Reese held back her own, brushing back his hair, like Mom used to do for all of them. With it, she was able to further brush in the reality that he was really before her.

          "Reese?" Spencer squinted at her. "You... your hair. What'd..."

          "Later, ok." Reese pulled his arm up over her shoulders, giving him that sly, little sister smile.

THE END

Reason Enough ~ In Battle

          "One of whom was your mother," Rashid spoke with outrageous calm. "Am I right, Miss Elderbrock?"

        His word cut deep, piercing Reese's already heated heart. The knife twisted mercilessly through the wounds she'd been trying many months to heal.

          Keep your head, Reese. The voice whispered; apparently she had not scared it away far enough. God'll deal with him. You mustn't...

          Yes, I must! Reese's anger and hate turned white-hot now and she drove her knee into Rashid's ribcage. Her gun stay targeted on his head as he crumpled to his feet. "You really think you could look into any of those innocent faces you murdered and tell me they had... no other choice?!?"

          "Violence is the only thing this world understands anymore, Miss Elderbrock," Rashid grunted, clutching at her point of impact. "America sees it as little more then a toy, playing mindlessly with it across their computer screens. How else are we to communicate? And you obviously see violent means as the only end to find your brother."

         "Don't!" Reese warned him, spooking back his words from nesting in her brain. Not just his, but the One that had been inside her head since she'd snipped the first strand of her hair. "Don't act like you have all the answers, to my truth or yours. One last time; where's Spencer?"

          Rashid smiled arrogantly at her. "My soul is prepared for the next life. I'm not afraid of death."

          BHT!

          Reese sent he along-awaited bullet into Rashid's calf. With its release, her head began to clear, her blood simmering in the gratifying pleasure at the spill of her enemy's. Rashid's face was pale with shock, then red and wrenched with pain. He tried to bit back any verbal discomfort, but couldn't stop a distorted groan. Reese's own lip curled in what she knew to be an ugly smirk. But she hardly cared as she cocked the gun again.

          Reese!

          "My religion..." Reese blew her breath out. "My God may have mercies regarding scum like you; or maybe He just doesn't have the guts..."

          Reese, that's enough!

          Reese shoved the voice- His voice- back. She was going to finish this, without His help or not! She stepped closer to Rashid. "But what you better realize, is that I do have the guts to keep my family together. At any costs!"

          "And... you're certain this is the cost..." Rashid coughed, trying to speak past the pain. "Both you and God are willing to take?"

          He wasn't done with his mind maze yet, making Reese want to shot him all the more. The minute she had stepped through the threshold of the mosque, she had wanted to shoot him. To shoot anyone who crossed her path, to empty tyne chamber and every other mag she had stashed. She would't act like mutilating Rashid's leg hadn't felt good, refreshing even...

          Reese, listen please! You must calm down.

          The trigger itched the fleshy ridges of Reese's fingertip. How she wanted to react to it. With every fiber of her being.

          You know that you mustn't shoot. If I know you, then I know that you can't.

          I have to, Lord! Reese quivered within herself. I can't show mercy like You! Not to him or anyone in this scorched war zone.

          How can you say that when you don't know their hearts?

          I know his! Reese insisted. Just let me kill him. For Mom.

          And how many more, Daughter, in the name of her blood? Is that what she would want to be remembered for? And I do not want this remembrance for you.

          It's what I WANT!!!

          The voice persisted. And what did Moses want when the Israelites demanded water? What did that get him?

          Her gun was faltering off its path to Rashid's head. Reese fought to hold it steady.

          There's a plan for everything, Reese. For both My mercy and My wrath.

          Her weapon remained, hot and powerful in her hand, anticipating its next release. Yet something more powerful stayed her finger from pressing against the trigger. It felt to be massaging the knuckles of their tension; and working to do the same on her heart.

          It was the same power that had been nagging her since she and her brothers, Justin and Spencer, had first touched Iraqi soil. The days before their enlistment and the days since, Reese's blood had been running hotter then the sun in newfound hates and prejudices. Spencer had felt the same way, maybe even more so. Mom's death still managed to be so tender and sore for them all.

          Justin was the only one of them who had traveled across the Atlantic with a cleaner heart. He was the middle child, the thinker... and the forgiver. Even while Mom's face, laugh, her very walk haunted them. Reminded them- reminded Reese of how close she now breathed to the people who had helped to kill her.

          "Miss Elderbrock?" Rashid's voice drug out back into the present moment, where his eyes challenged her. Eyes as heavy and weighted as Reese's. The similarity struck her and she worked her lips to speak. "I came for my brother, Rashid. So please... where is he?"

          Rashid's lips lifted smuggly at the corners. "You won't kill me?"

          "I won't send you to Hell. " Reese confirmed to them both. "I can't."

          Rashid laughed, but Reese caught the stumble in it. She had struck a nerve. She waited, the gun's weight nudging her leg. When had she lowered it? It begged to be returned to its proper use, and Reese still longed to fulfill it. The urge may have been divinely subsided, but it was still there. Reese squeezed her free hand closed, viewing it as her literal hold on God's strength, as she continued to stare off with Rashid.

          Another moment passed, until Rashid finally shrugged. Both hands compressed the blood-soaked robes that covered his calf, but he lifted his chin back toward the alter. "A staircase. Hidden behind the tapestries of my prayer room. Your brother- what is left of him- is waiting behind the door at the end of it."

          Reese bit her lip at the images of what Rashid meant by that, forcing her gun still. Without a word, she moved past him, starting toward the small, sacred room. She thought of how many times she had stood just outside its curtain. Spencer and Justin too; the countless meetings they had had with Rashid. Meetings they had believed to be private, for the same cause...

          "Reese!"

*To Be Continued*

Reason Enough ~ The Entrance

(One of the earlier stories I wrote in high school... it's fun to go back to the beginning!)

'Do not be overcome by evil..." ~ Romans 12:21

          Women were not permitted in the synagogue, but she had taken care of that. Justin was no doubt back at the hotel right now, staring dumbfounded at the snipped silks of Reese's brown hair. She'd left it draped over the wash basin, the remaining shaved follicles floating in the murky water. She'd left her clothes too, substituting the traditional Arab man's tunic, pants, and sandals.

          The sand-brick walls loomed several feet over Reese's height, making her feel small. Small, numb, and immobile somehow, even while her feet continued their sure steps. As though she had drifted out of her body on the way over here and now her spirit watched someone else control her limbs.

          It's certainly not who you normally give control to.

          A scowl twisted in Reese's mouth at the little voice that had becoming increasingly harder to ignore. Even so, she didn't stop, didn't slow or waver from the path she walked. The voice changed nothing. She was fully aware of what she had come here to do... and she fully intended to do it. 

         She had time on her side. Prayer went like clockwork in the sand-built cities of the Middle East. Shahvar, a straddled guardian between Iran and Iraq, was no exception. The morning prayers were ten minutes over, leaving the building silent and empty. Minus Rashid. Reese's stomach tightened, spotting Rashid extinguishing a row of candles... facing Mecca, like they all did. Holding her eyes to the floor, Reese waited for him to take notice of her.

          "Ah, I'm sorry my friend," Rashid finally acknowledged, his soft slippers making their way toward her. Reese kept moving forward, offering no response.

          "You must be aware that prayer has ended." Rashid continued curiously. Reese didn't look up, still didn't answer. She only stopped when less then three feet separated them. Rashid coughed to fill the silence. "What may I help you with..."

          "I prefer you didn't." Reese growled, head lifting and arm moving from the back of her belt to begin forth her gun. Fingers clutched tightly around the cool handle, Reese lingered the nozzle only a centimeter from Rashid's forehead. She held it level on the space between his slithery eyes. "But I don't have much choice."

          Rashid's eyebrows shot up, tongue halted in its lacy web. "Miss Elderbrock! What is the meaning of this?"

          "You tell me." Reese suggested coldly. "Where's Spencer?"

          "I can assure you..."

          "Don't try pussy-footing around me!" Reese cut him off harshly. "I came here to get my brother and I'm not leaving until I do; so where is he?"

         "Miss Elderbrock," Rashid repeated, hands held forward in a sign of peace; a vain one in this territory. "We both know you're brother disappeared during the raids."

         "He couldn't have because he didn't leave for Iran until noon that day." Reese told him. "His plans changed last minute because he was the one carrying the charts. You knew all of this of course, since Spencer told you. Because he trusted you!"

          "He trusted many." Rashid said. Reese shook her head, eyes blurring in anger. But she held the gun steady. "No. He just trusted you. And now he's missing after a raid on a convoy that wasn't supposed to exist."

          Rashid inhaled sharply. "I can see how this might look, then. Miss Elderbrock, even if it were true, do you believe this is the best way to reveal it?"

          "WHERE'S SPENCER?!" Reese's maddened echo bounced rapidly off the walls. At its vibration, Rashid's eyes changed. They darkened, they narrowed... and they confirmed everything. That and his scoff. "All you Americans. So self-righteous, yet the biggest hypocrites. You spit in the face of your own religion."

           Reese wasn't sure how she was able to keep the gun trained on him without firing. "You know nothing of my religion."

          "I know," Rashid gestured to her firearm with malice. "That there is no justification you can give God for the bullet you wish to plant in me."

          "And you think that Allah justifies Osama's destruction on 9/11?" Reese challenged.

          "Is that to always be held against my people?" Rashid lifted an unfazed eyebrow.

          "You willing killed thousands of Americans. Then and in every car bomb after it."

          "Osama's troops took a rash stand. I won't personally condone it, but one must see how they had no other choice..."

          "No other choice!" Reese exploded, driving the exit of her gun up against Rashid's sun-browned skin. "What of the children on those planes? The people in the towers..."

          "One of whom was your mother..." Rashid's eyebrows drew themselves up confidently. "Am I right?"

*To Be Continued*   

The Giving and the Taking

Wrapping up the saga of Esther in the Old Testament (no really, it takes my breath away still), I started reading the book of Job this morning. Job doesn't need any introduction because the trials of his life are infamous. There's even a line that people use a lot in popular culture; The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.

This line is quoted in books or movies, as the secondary characters comfort the grievers around a fake casket. And I'm probably not wrong in assuming that people quote it in real life. Funny thing is, just last week, I found myself wondering, are those words actually IN the Bible; or is it just us paraphrasing?

There are plenty of examples of God giving and taking things away. The Israelites are given freedom from slavery in Egypt. And then the sight of the Promised Land is taken away from an entire generation and they wonder the desert for forty years. God took Lazarus of Bethany away from his sisters. Then gave him back (from the dead!) four days later. For Esther, He took both her parents away, yet gave her the title of queen and the courage to keep her uncle and people from being slaughtered!

The list goes on, illustrating the saying the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. I was satisfied with the evidence. Still though, the question nagged at me and I put it away to look into later.

Then this morning (the human mind's one-week equivalent of 'later') I broke into Job. And I read it in the first chapter;

'The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;' (v. 21 NIV)

THERE IT WAS! Once again, God's timing reigns supreme! But what caught my attention even more was the fact that Job didn't stop speaking there. The whole twenty-first verse is:

'The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;

may the name of the Lord be praised.'

Interesting. We've taken the liberty of quoting an important aspect of our Savior. But we've left out the part about how we ought to respond to it. Remember, Job's first test had already passed when he said this. His herds had been taken, his servants slaughtered, and all of his children dead. And ALL this travesty was dished out to him in the same FIVE minutes!

What would you do? You'd probably shrug off the animals, feel sadness for the servants, but YOUR CHILDREN!!!???!!! Job responds with torn clothes and moaning (and much more moaning later on), but these are among the first words out of his mouth:

"The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;

may the name of the Lord be praised."

In a place where it's too easy to fall into self-pity, Job reminds himself of who he serves and how he should serve him, even now. 

It's important to quote the Bible, to 'always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.' (1 Peter 3:15) But if we're going to do so, let's concentrate on the WHOLE message that's being given, not a mere PART of it. 

Nobody likes anything half-baked or half-hearted. We shouldn't settle for an eternal message being half-quoted.

Promises, Not Choices

I think a lot about our battle with sin. Ok, MY battle with sin.

I have poor time management skills, preferring to satisfy my own needs first and leaving the important stuff for the last minute.

I'm a harsh judger of character, where I have no right to be a judge at all.

I wallow in low self-esteem 55% of the time, giving Satan a foothold waaayyy too many times over my mind and soul that are meant for God.


And every night (raise your hand if this is your mental ritual), my brain streamlines I'm gonna do better tomorrow, I'm gonna do better tomorrow, I'M GONNA DO BETTER TOMORROW!

Do you promise yourself that? Do you promise God that you're going to rise above the impediments of flesh and bone? I do. I do it again... and again... until I don't remember what the words of your promise mean anymore.

We trek the same cycle as our ancestors, from out of Egypt, past the crumpled walls of Jericho, through the loop of Judges, and beyond. On the one hand, it's wonderful to be so aware of our Lord and Savior that we feel the Spirit inside of us when we're not walking with Him.

Yet, for all our recognition, we can't seem to breach over that promise we make into the shadows of each night. Well, maybe it's time to shift our focus then. Instead of putting all our effort into the PROMISE, why not put it into the CHOICES that have to be made in order for us to improve.

I want to note that I only say 'improve', or 'better'. Not 'best' or 'perfect', which can not be achieved this side of Heaven. Hence, our improvement begins with our CHOICES to take the right step and not the wrong one. Our PROMISES aren't going to mean anything if we can't back up our commitment with literal examples of us striving to make it happen.

Example?

I have a choice to finish up my lesson plans for the week, or go to a movie (on a school night, no less! GASP!). Now the lesson plans don't have to be done tonight, but if I want to start changing my ways into more God-honoring ones, I have to make a CHOICE somewhere.

That's pretty basic and cliche, but you get the idea? People always say 'a thousand step journey begins with a single step.' It's the same with our CHOICES. One CHOICE becomes two, those two CHOICES become four...

And before you know it, we're living out the PROMISES we wanted to keep all along.

'On what are you basing this confidence of yours? 

You say you have counsel and might for war—but you speak only empty words. 

On whom are you depending, that you rebel against me?'

~Isaiah 36:4-5~

(This was Sennacherib, King of Assyria's message to Hezekiah, King of Jerusalem. In the end, Sennacherib and his army would fall because Hezekiah's people placed their faith and future in God. They CHOOSE to stick with God, despite Sennacherib's words.)