The Tender Circle

             "Ba."
              Gareth started from the doze he'd fallen into. He straightened up on the lawn chair and saw Melody peering through the screen door. He didn't need to check his watch to know that she needed to be in bed. However, tossed black hair surrounding her round face, coupled with a nose smushed against the screen, made it impossible for him to reprimand. "Not sleepy, eh?"
              Melody slid the screen open and immediately joined him on the chair, giraffe slippers and all. She was going on nine, big for Gareth's lap. He tilted his head back so Melody could settle hers beneath his scruffy chin. He'd gone clean shaven once when Melody was four- she'd told him how his face 'didn't feel right'. Since then, shaving hadn't been a big habit of his.
              "Ursa minor." Melody observed, finger extended into the sky to trace the twinkling shape. She dragged it down toward the horizon. "Ursa major."
               She missed one and Gareth redirected her hand. "Can't have a hole in the bottom. Could flood the whole earth."
               Melody giggled. "Where's Cygnus?"
               Gareth eyed the ink-black night, held back by the stars burning millions of light years away; and still so bright. And so random and scattered to the untrained eye. When had he become one of those trained eyes? Gareth moved Melody's hand to the left, hovering over a stretched cross of dots. "Right there."
               He dropped his hand, letting Melody trace the constellation on her own. She lingered on the middle. "Can Mama see them?"
               "Better then we can." Gareth thought of the wide telescope that was the center of Bao-yu's 'office'. She was an astronomer- the easy term for the 'data reduction specialist' title she held at the observatory- and she was the reason that he could tell the stars apart. "She's lookin' at all of them."
               "She had to go back to work before us." Melody dropped her head back with a snicker. Gareth grinned for his daughter, but held relief behind it. Bao-yu had finally gone back to work. Not a moment too soon in his opinion. It had been a hard summer. Melody wrapped Gareth's arms around her, though it was hardly cold. They lived in Arizona, where people wore long sleeves in December as a joke. He let the silence of the night return, until Melody's hand went back up. His brow furrowed. "What're you holdin' luv?"
               Melody passed the thread thin necklace of rose gold to him. Gareth swallowed. "Raidin' Mama's jewelry box, is it?"
               "She didn't take it with her." Melody shrugged, like there was no need for further explanation. Gareth ran his thumb over the two smooth circles, intertwined at the center of the necklace. "They can't wear these things at the observatory. Certain equipment has magnets in it. Rip this right off of your mother's neck."
               He knew this, yet wondered if it had been hard for Bao-yu to leave it. Eleven years and she'd never been without it; even in the midst of her depression, when she hadn't cared about much else.
               "Why's it so special?"
               Gareth's dry laugh went out to the sky. "That is a long story, Melody."
               "It's going to be a long night." Melody said, voice high with hopes. Gareth laughed again, pushing her up. "You need to get to sleep."
               "Can't." Melody stated matter-of-factly, facing him. Gareth let the night slip by for a minute, gearing himself to convince her to go back to bed. Melody's mouth was by his ear then. "I'm nervous to start school, Ba."
                Gareth thought on that as Melody kicked her feet up, toes wiggling. She enjoyed being barefoot, as well as the color silver, blueberry pie, and any book with a treasure hunt in it. Melody could memorize anything and was his right hand man whenever the sink worked up. All this- and she was too shy to share it with others. He could tell that she wanted to; but always let her shyness get in the way. Gareth looked back at the necklace in his hand, so used to seeing it against his wife's throat. He dangled it out farther so that Melody could see it. "That long story's about facin' your fears."
               "Ba," Melody giggled confidently. "Nothing scares you."
               I once thought nothing could. Gareth thought. "I grew up in Cowbridge, remember."
               "Nana calls it Vale of Glamorgan because it's prettier." Melody noted.
               "It's too small a place for such a long name." Gareth remarked. His gaze retreated back to the stars, seeing his memories float between them. "It was too small for me. I needed to get out, see the world."
                Melody's fingers now played in and out of the gold chain. "And you did?"
                "I worked on the continent for a time," Gareth saw the streets of London and the bridges of Norway wonder across the stars. "Opened me eyes to a lot of things. My work then landed me in Hong Kong, building my first skyscraper-"
                 "Like you do now!' Melody exclaimed, always excited that both her parents were 'sky experts'. Gareth was glad to give her something to be proud of. He tugged at her bed-tossed hair. "I then traveled to Sandouping, to help build the largest dam in the world."
                The grandeur in his voice couldn't do justice to the scope of the Three Gorges. He'd walked on its backbone, watched the Yangtze split and foam past the massive coffers. He'd helped piece together its cement belly and motioned the giant turbines as they were lowered into place. No, he couldn't cement the measure of that into one sentence. "We were building a concrete giant, so that cities and factories in the valley could get power. Some of those factories are owned by your grandfather."
              Without realizing, his voice got softer. Did Jianguo still own those factories? A Google search- one he wouldn't admit to- could only reveal so much. "He visited the dam often, with other investors. He brought your mother with him once."
               Gareth would always remember that day, where everything changed. Bao-yu had been staring at him, making it impossible for him to finish his lunch. Or to not stare back. Until she lagged behind the 'tour' her father was on and stepped up to ask him where he was from. Well, how could you not notice one Welshman among a hundred Chinese?
               "Wales?" Bao-yu had repeated, lips upturned in the slightest grin. "As in the animal?"
                "No." Gareth warned his eyes not to roll.
                "Where is this?" was her next question.
                "A hop west of London." 
                "She wanted to know about the world." Gareth summed it up. "We had that in common. And had our first date two nights later."
                 "Then you kissed?" Melody giggled, tilting her hazel eyes up at him.
                 "She told me the star names." Gareth redirected her. "And I told her about walking in the clouds."
                  Their talks became phone calls when Bao-yu went back to Choungquing. He'd agonized over a new conversational phrase each work day, prepping for the new chance to talk with her. A couple of the guys had ribbed him; most had warned him. Gareth had paid neither any attention. And if he hadn't... what then?
                  "So you bought her this for an anniversary?" Melody guessed, back to playing with the chain in her fingers. Gareth's throat dried as he shook his head. "No... that came later. Your grandfather... he found out and told us it was over. Told me to never speak to her again."
                  Melody was aware what estrangement meant because it was the explanation of why she'd never met her grandpa. Still holding Bao-yu's necklace, Melody put her hand in Gareth's. "He didn't like you?"
                   Gareth blew a reflective breath out. "Sometimes people have different ideas 'bout what'll make others happy. They forget it's something they have to decide it for themselves."
                   "What did you and Mama decide?" Melody jabbed at him.
                    "WHAT are you doing here?!" Bao-yu had cried in her most stressed English. Gareth had only smiled, fully in tune with his idiocy. "I came to talk to you." 
                    "I got myself to Choungquing as fast as I could." Gareth admitted, the adrenaline revisiting him. "Made myself look as non-creepy as possible, and took her out a second time.'
                    'Her father had me arrested the next day... I'd be deported or kept in jail if I asked her out again."
                    Gareth still felt the fear and desperation like it was yesterday. The injustice to Bae and him. Maybe they hadn't been thinking about marriage then, but he at least thought that she deserved to be happy. It wasn't until Bao-yu asked that he returned to Wales and to his family. All those miles though, and she wouldn't leave his mind, even when he prayed that she would. He started writing letters, only to throw them away. He remained a man with few words so filling up a whole page with them was a nightmare. Then he'd seen the necklace in a shop window. Two circles that couldn't be parted... Gareth had called her 'Bae' for the first time in the letter he sent it in. Telling her, if she was willing, that he would make this work.
                   "Did she write back?" Melody still followed along, eyes stayed on the sky.
                   "Both of us did. All winter." Gareth winced at the thought of his writing. But it'd been more covert then phones. "Used a secret address so her father wouldn't find out."
                    Melody shifted her head then, knees drawing up so she was cupped perfectly in his lap. "That was more scary then a first day of school?"
                     Lots of things about their courtship had been... many things in their marriage still were. The hassle of immigration, holding a job as Bae finished school... Gareth pulled his daughter in. "We were both afraid, but we didn't let that stop us. Your mother got her student visa... and we married."
                     "Eager beaver." Melody breathed out.
                     "I was actually more scared that day then I was any other." Gareth admitted. Melody knew about that day already. But this was the first time Gareth had even mentioned what he'd had to fear before their wedding.
                     He opened his mouth to continue, but then felt the rhythm of his daughter's slumber against his chest. He took another minute to watch the burning pins of light. Bao-yu referred to the stars as beacons pointing to the farthest reaches of the galaxy. They shone with the same mystery and brilliance as Bae's eyes. Gareth had dared to be brave enough to meet the soul of that person.
                   Did I teach our daughter anything about facing her fears? Gareth wondered, shuffling himself with Melody out of the chair. Or how they follow you... if you let them. 

THE END

The new year brings reflection... good and bad. We question our choices, wonder where the roads might've turned if we'd chosen differently. Some years we settle back in happiness and contentment  others in a thankfulness that the year's over and done with, while other years are met with indifference; the months weren't terrible, but they weren't thrilling either. Just another turning of the time tables.

Regardless, we fins ourselves in a state of meditation as Times Square holds its breath for the New Year to come bursting out of its starting gate. A state of reflection that God encourages. NOT to dwell in the past (Isaiah 43:16-19), but to be self-aware of who we are, what we're doing... and most importantly where we're going.

'When times are good, be happy;

but when times are bad, consider this: 

God has made one as well as the other.'

~Ecclesiastes 7:14~

This is the only life we have to live... so how are we remembering it?

Many Happy Returns

'For the Son of man is come

to seek and to save that which was lost.'

~Luke 19:10~

What changed in your life because someone was born?

My sister was born with I was three, but I remember apprehension, excitement, nervousness, and sadness when the nurse took her away to be bathed. All my emotions reserved for my parents and grandparents were now extended to another person. Someone I laugh with, annoy and tease, argue and cry with, but still sneak in a hug whenever I can!

My baby cousin (before he was six feet tall!) was born when I was ten, turning my sister and I into relentless doting 'aunts'. We fed him, dressed him up, and only let him fall down the stairs twice! His birth excited us, spurring purpose and joy at our family's turn to babysit him (only I'm guessing Mom changed most of the diapers).

A lot of my high school weekends become full when a family had a new baby for me to watch. I took on responsibility for a little person (or three), which included taking cute pictures, enforcing time outs and feeding schedules, buckling in car seats, and risking a heart attack whenever one of them got hurt.

Point being, everything about your actions and thoughts shift when a new personality is introduced. Consider that change... and then magnify it times a thousand. That's the change that came into the world with the birth of Jesus Christ. The angels were bursting with song, lowly shepherds had tears in their eyes, and wise men's hearts were humbled. They were all moved, recognizing that something great had taken place. Over two thousand years and His birth is still moving people because the purpose of His coming has not dampened. His conquer over death became our rescue from our sins.

Mercy, love, hope, comfort, and even courage... all because of a baby's birth in a stable. It continues to move me... my prayer is that it reaches you this Christmas. And that you grab it and hold on for all the future seasons of your life.

'This is our God; we have waited for Him, and He will save us.

This is the Lord; we have waited for Him, 

and we will be glad and rejoice in His salvation.'

~Isaiah 25:9~

Merry Christmas!

  

Fortress

A mighty fortress is our God

A bulwark never failing...

~Opening verse to 'A Mighty Fortress' by Martin Luther, 1527 (?)

Out of all of Luther's lyrics, 'A Mighty Fortress' is one of his most memorable. The lyrics are a paraphrase of Psalm 46, which starts out so famously;

'God is our refuge and strength,

an ever-present help in trouble.'

...and goes on to say...

'Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way 

and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

though its waters roar and foam 

and the mountains quake with their surging.'

~verse 2-3~

The actual word 'fortress' is repeated seventeen times in the psalms; I've read these verses many times... and I've asked this question many times inbetween those readings. If God is our fortress, why do we continue to cry and get scared? How do we still cower in fear, give in to despair, and quiver with tears?

One, I believe that God doesn't raise his children to be stupid. The emotions of fear, anxiety, and sadness were planned out along with joy, peace, and comfort. They release our hearts from bearing too much, hone instincts which keep us from danger... these emotions- while not pleasant- strengthen our consciences just as happiness, love, and excitement are meant to do.

Two, when we do have to cry or feel fear, where do we do it? Under the covers of our bed, in a comfy chair in the den... curled up on the floor with your trusted furry friend. You do it in the safest place that you know of because you trust your tears, anger, and frustration within that space. Without judgement.

When God becomes our fortress, it isn't just our salvation, our stronghold and horn (strength). He's our fortress when we can't be. He also becomes our security to have our cries, our yells, and even our selfish moments:

'But I will sing of your strength, in the morning

I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress,

my refuge in times of trouble.'

~Psalm 59:16~ 

God becomes our fortress for all the parts of our lives. Because those are the parts that He loves and wants to guard for us.

36 Boxes

'Because of the service of which you have proved yourselves, 
others will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of Christ, 
and your generosity in sharing them with everyone else... 
Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift!'
~2 Corinthians 9:13; 15~            

         
              "They're here!"
              Rex's attention was pulled form the current verse at the rushed squeal of excitement that rang through the hut. Had it come from Nadine or Leslie? The girls had slowly been growing stir-crazy this week, where the littlest thing convinced them of adventure. Rex blamed the new novels that Chloe had them reading for school. This time however, a moment after the squeal, Rex heard the coughing engine of the supply truck. He was up from his desk chair, immediately sharing in the girls' excitement.
             Throwing the rusty-red shirt over his tank top, Rex hurried out of what doubled as his study and his and Chloe's bedroom. Their hut was one of the few luxury homes that sported three rooms; and one of those rooms was the sanctuary out back. Rex turned the other way however, breaking into the gleaming sun. It had grown gentle with the late afternoon hours, a relief as the shadows never reached this side of their house. They had chosen it for the abnormal flat land it stood on. Subsequently, it also allowed his family a view of the only road in and out of the village. Anything else were worn paths, dusty on the hot days and muddy on the rainy ones... and traveled on all of them.
            The twenty some homes spanned along the lip of the valley, following the sweep of the land towards the lake. This was an area where, while the soil was rich, it had proved finicky over the years. Chloe and the other women, it had become their project, cultivating the land to bring food to the village, and a trade for its families. Rex gave a deep inhale, enjoying the familiar air in his lungs; recalling a time when it was more scary then familiar. My wife supplies the food... I supply the hope? 
            Boy, that sounded conceited! But his upcoming sermon was on purpose so he was being more analytical then usual. He had been dwelling heavily on his family's purpose- their life- here. It wasn't unlike the soil, unsure whether it could grow something or not. More then once, both Rex and Chloe had been positive that nothing would. That they had swept their son and daughter to a distant and dangerous country for no reason other then a misguided whim. But then a miracle would lend itself and the unlikely crops would sprout. Giving Rex as much hope as his neighbors.
            He couldn't take credit for the carving God had done... nor for the joy that was roaring up the road in the back of the supply truck. Rex stepped farther out as a crowd began to gather in their 'front yard'. He glimpsed Nadine swinging and jumping with Tinah, a new mother this year. Nadine doted over the baby when she wasn't in school with the other children. The children who would be receiving boxes this year! After so much waiting, letter writing, praying... Chloe!
            "Leslie!" Rex swept a glance over the crowd. His twelve year old whipped her head around, her merry golden braid falling over her shoulder. "Daddy, they're here!"
            So it had been her who squealed. Rex smiled, then pointed towards the fields. "Go tell your mother."
            Leslie beelined away, feet kicking up the dirt; she was barefoot again!? They had told her how many times not to-
            "Baba!" Nadine shook Rex's arm, her eyes and smile just as bright as her sister's. Her vocabulary switched from English to Swahili as she danced around him... to where he had to pull her back to avoid the path of the truck. Akello honked the horn over the rising voices as more and more families gathered. The older children jumped and grabbed at the wooden sides as he passed the house and braked. It was the equivalent of a roller coaster to them.
             "Welcome back!" Rex called out as Akello climbed out, his smile matching the chatter of the village. He immediately met Rex in a tight hug. Akello squeezed Rex's shoulders before turning his smiles to the villagers. "Krismasi kila mtu!"
             Everyone returned his yuletide greeting, following Akello to the tailgate and undoing the straps. Rex followed to where all attention was on the truck bed, stacked high with crates held fast by ropes and tarps. From within those crates, the red and green of the Christmas boxes peeked through. Eight-year-old Denis tried scrambling up for a closer look, but his father scooped him back.
             "If everyone can find their place in the circle!" Akello raised his voice, pulling Rex up beside him.
             "Akello! Rex!" Chloe popped around the engine, her hair in sweaty curls across her shoulders. "Leslie's screaming through the brush like the town crier!"
             "Baba's alway talking about patience." Nadine crossed over to hug her mother's arm. "She has none."
             Rex tried to give her a nogie. "And you have no humility."
             She squealed again, jumping out of reach. That delightful sound of energy and carefree confidence. Rex loved hearing it from all his children.
             "She and Bradley will want to be here for the blessing." Akello glanced around the circle that was forming. And soon enough, their son Bradley appeared with his teenage friend Janani- likely deciding whether or not to betray their excitement. Leslie had become anchored between the wrinkled hands of Edith and Gopou. The second grandparents of their second home. Rex's eyes followed the line of the townspeople as more faces and eager postures joined their circle. Tinah and her husband, Ochleng. Dembe and his little sister, Medrine. They eyed the boxes hungrily. As they had the year before... the first year that the boxes had come. Rex slipped his own hand into Chloe's; they are rough with soil, but remained tender to the touch. Chloe passed a knowing look to him. Could either of them believe how five months had turned into eight years? How these faces were now their neighbors and friends, selling along the trade road and sending their kids to school... and how their two children had become three with Nadine's adoption.
              "I say the prayer now!" Nadine squeezed Chloe's side, eyes shining. Rex laughed, holding up his free arm."Sifa zu Mungu tena! God's praises once again."
              It was a greeting the village had adopted some time ago. In one of their darkest times, it had become their cry of hope, perseverance, and a reminder to who reigned and loved them all. The response was immediate across their faces as they raised their fists and voices- literally swelling the air with elation to God. Rex waited.
              "I thank out Heavenly Father for these smilies," Akello suddenly called out. "We have walked through the dark deserts and valleys together... sometimes feeling alone and rejected." He swallowed hard, pointing skyward. "Now we know; God is always with us... and I am in awe."
               Rex glanced at his friend, but Nadine's beginning of the blessing stopped his questions. Many times, he allowed his congregation to speak as the Spirit moved them. Akello... was not often one of those people. But his rarity was easily overcome by Nadine's heartfelt voice. She sounded so much like Chloe, stripping down the pretenses of an almighty God and talking like she was on a father's knee. Bradley and Leslie were more formal like him. Rex didn't argue the difference however, letting her finish. He eyed Akello, then the back of the truck, where the boxes waited in their crates. One for each child that he and his family were watching grow, learn, and laugh. Rex could sit at the front of their classroom and name every boy and girl's strengths, what they wanted for Christmas and why. It was his wish that he could fulfill those wants... a wish he couldn't grant.
              But for a moment, when the lids were ripped off, the children's eyes would widen. Smiles would burst on their faces. And their hearts... their hearts would open a little more to the unsurpassed love of Christ.

THE END

This story was short, but that didn't make it any easier to write... this is the fourth draft, which is why it took so long to post! The shorter the story, the harder it is to write it correctly. Mainly because it's about capturing a moment from your mind and projecting that moment into full view for your readers. A moment that you want to mean as much to them as it does to you.

Birthdays, Easter, Anniversaries... 4th of July, Christmas... they're all about moments. Some of them joyous, hilarious, or eye rolling. Many others are heartbreaking, tearful, and angry. Sometimes, when you're writing, you stumble across how intricate God's work is and how He builds every kind of moment atop one another.

The moment Joseph decided to heed his dream and still marry the pregnant Mary.

That moment three thousand accepted Christ's message and were baptized after Pentecost.

The moment the wise men saw the uncharted star... and felt the need to follow it.

That moment Herod ordered the innocence of Bethlehem to be slaughtered.

The moment Mary choose to sit at Jesus' feet and listen.

Those moments where Jesus went willingly with the Roman soldiers.... waited... kept quiet... and allowed himself to die in slow pain on the cross.

When writing out my 'moment stories', I hope to honor God's significant work in life's moments- the good and the bad. Those moments that come before Christmas, after New Years', and during every weekday and weekend in between. 

Christmas in a Carol

O thou joyful day, O thou blessed day,

Holy, peaceful Christmastide!

Earth's hopes awaken, Christ life has taken,

Laud Him, O laud Him on every side!

Not surprising, but I'm deep into a devotional titled Christ in the Carols by Christopher and Melodie Lane. It ties the message of yuletide song lyrics into the message of the Bible. You've got your typical Silent Night, O Little Town of Bethlehem, and Hark the Herald Angels Sing. But there are also some forgotten harmonies such as a traditional German number 'O Thou Joyful Day' and 'The Happy Christmas Comes Once More' by Dane Nicolai F.S. Grundtrig. 

These older hymnals begged the question of what is Christmas. So, I'll put down the initial answer that filled my mind. It's a celebration.

Those who know me won't be surprised at this definition, as my spirit goes neon at the first hint of holiday themed shopping aisles and frosty October flurries. (The Christmas music goes on before October fifth and plays until March, people! Deal with it!) So speaking as someone whose enthusiasm could easily throw them into a coma, take it from me...

...the celebration only becomes better when you realize the ACTUAL celebrating part.

'But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, 

born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, 

that we might receive adoption to sonship.'

~Galatians 4:4-5~

There's a reason that Christmas gets us so hyped and nostalgic, excited and yearning. It's the time God designated to bring us closer to him. Entire generations were growing up far away from him. And the Creator of the Universe- or our hair and our breath- wasn't about to be resigned to that. 

He didn't just pass an edict, like a lot of the rulers were into back then. No, he GAVE a piece of himself- Jesus Christ- so that a pathway into His love would be possible! 

Thou didst leave Thy throne and Thy kingly crown

When Thou camest to earth for me

~Emily E.S. Elliot, 1864~

He bridged the way to hope, grace, mercy, love, and compassion... the tools we find ourselves using in the constant spinning washing machine of our world.

'In the world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world!'

~John 16:33~

He indeed overcame! And it all started at Christmas! So I stand by my answer of a celebration. (Be it 25 days or 52 weeks.) A celebration of who came and what he was to later bring!

Acknowledge

'The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us.
We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, 
one came from the Father, full of grace and truth'

~John 1:14~

Context can complicate the simple question of 'what does that mean?'. Here, Hosea brings up the acknowledgement of God in Hosea 6:

'Lets us acknowledge the Lord;

let us press on to acknowledge him.

As surely as the sun rises, he will appear;

he will come to us like the winter rains,

like the spring rains that water the earth.' (verse 3)

What does it mean to acknowledge? Well, first off, it's a verb in every sense... to verbally recognize authority, to admit the truth or reality of something, and five other definitions that have one expressing and realizing the validity of something. 

Think about the distractions of today's society. These distractions, ironically, come at us tenfold around the holidays... when family time and slowing down are the most emphasized. So, in the midst of baking, shopping, channel surfing,... and baking... and football games and ugly sweater parties... and baking... let's not forget to acknowledge the reason that Christmas is the time of comfort and joy.

'For to us a child is born, to us a son is given,

and the government will be on his shoulders.

And he will be called, 'Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,

Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end.'

~Isaiah 9:6~

(Now excuse me while I go bake my third batch of cutout cookies and caramel-chocolate oatmeal bars.)

Christmas Headlines

(You all knew this was coming, what with my loud and melodious love for Christmas carols!)


Christmastime is here                                         When Christmas comes to town

O come, Emmanuel                                             It's the Most Wonderful time of the Year

Deck the Halls                                                     Mary did you know?

Trim up the tree with Christmas stuff                  Come All Ye Faithful

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

                                                                             Up on the Housetop 

O Christmas tree, O Tannebaum                          I heard the bells on Christmas Day;

And Jingle Bells                                                   'Joy to the World!'

Upon a Midnight Clear                                        'God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen'

Dashing through the snow                                    

In a one-horse open sleigh                                   Hark! The Herald Angels sing

                                                                             O little town of Bethlehem

O Holy Night                                                       We Three kings of Orient

Down Santa Claus lane                                       "This, this, is Christ the King!"

The Little Drummer Boy

And Frosty the Snowman hurrying on his way      Infant so tender and mild

                                                                                Away in a manger

Good Tidings to you and your kin                         You will get a sentimental feeling when you hear

Tidings of comfort and joy                                    Christ the Savior is born...

The Holly and the Ivy                                            Christ the Savior is Born!


Dreaming of a White Christmas

A Winter Wonderland

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire

Sleigh bells jingling, ring-ting-tingling too

String Up the Tree!

December First To-Do List

1. Have the Christmas tree on all day. Open my Bible to Luke Chapter 2 and revisit the Christmas story, setting my mind and soul right for the season! 
2. Watch several hours worth of Christmas specials!
3. Address envelopes for Christmas cards.
4. Stack my Christmas books on my nightstand for nightly reading.
5. Check my Christmas gift list (TWICE!)
6. Commence the wrapping of said gifts already bought.
7. Place Christmas CDs in my car and beside my player, at work and at home.
8. Hang the stockings!
9. Display Christmas cards of years past.
10. Stir a cup of hot chocolate (marshmallows or whip cream optional) and sip dainty throughout the day.
11. Open my Bible to Luke Chapter 2 and revisit the Christmas story, setting my mind and soul right for the season. Keep the Christmas tree lights on ALL day!

I love winter because of December.

I love December because of Christmas.

I love Christmas because of Christ.

And I pray for my priorities to reflect 

such love this holiday season.

The Horse Who Prayed

An island in the middle of the bluest ocean was home to many horses. One of these younger geldings could run so fast that he had been to every corner and cliff of the island. He walked the same beaches and meadows as the rest of his horse kinsmen, but a restlessness came on him that didn't the others.
The horse wondered what was beyond their island and the vast, beautiful ocean that surrounded it. If there was something more out there, he wanted to go and find it.

However, there was no way off the island for the young horse. It frustrated him greatly. So the horse did the only thing he could. And he prayed for God to send him a way off of the island.

Father, if You could allow me off this island, please show me the way. I would love nothing more then to travel and see the farthest corners of Your creation.

It was short, but sincere and the horse quoted it every hour that day, racing back and forth along the beach and meadows. Come twilight, the horse fell asleep on the sand, exhausted. He woke in the early morning, but instead of pale rays of sun, there was an angry wind pushing gray clouds close to the island. The horse immediately trotted for the caves, where he and the others would be safe. The clouds grew darker and lightening cracked before heavy raindrops began falling over the grass and the horse's back. The horse looked back as the clouds went black and purple...

Suddenly a terrible flash of lightening shot down from the sky! The horse felt himself suspended in its light for a moment... then a searing pain along his back. The lightening had struck him! His legs kicked wildly as he fell to his side, writhing in the white-hot torment. He couldn't breathe or think beyond this terrible pain that now consumed his body. As fast as he was, he couldn't move, except to whinny and moan as the pain continued. God, I am in pain! Make it stop! Make it stop... or have me die!

The horse didn't know how long til he finally passed out, only that upon waking up, the pain had been replacing with stiffness and dizziness. And a weight that the horse did not recognize. Did I die?

But a glance around told the horse he was still at home on the island. Surrounded by his horse kinsmen, who all gaped at him with wonder and fear. The horse, though he stumbled, stood, and realized why. He was heavier because a strong, wide set of graceful wings now adorned his back!

The lightening! The horse turned in an excited circle, testing the movement of his new wings. Just as quickly though, he remembered the pain, his own wish for death. Bending a foreleg, the horse bowed to the heavens. Forgive me, Father. And, I thank You. 

Then the horse arose, feeling the wind sweep under his wings. He gathered his strength in his legs... and with a mighty push, he soared into the air!

THE END

Winter Spell

In the lull of the magical powder, I thought I would supply you with a poem to set the mood for the coming season!

Frigid frost frames the window's edge 

Light flakes gently lay themselves

Atop one another, building

Towards their beauty

Wind slices the trees stripped

Of their leaves, crusted with ice

Their swaying branches

Finger the dark-gray sky

A blanket of pure white 

Carries itself on the wind,

Swirling against itself as a

Warm, velvety beverage seeps

Down my throat and heats my body

Within my solitude

The glowing dance of the fire's flames

Drapes its warmth across my shivering

Shoulders, protecting me from the 

Chilled air it has yet to conquer

Content of the night washes over me

Until I'm drowned in its peace

The snow glimmers even in the night

It pulls the sweet weight of sleep

Upon my eyelids

Carrying me further and further away

~~~~~

It's coming, we all know it... EMBRACE IT!

Bearing

My devotions pulled me into Psalm 136 this morning.

In which the phrase His love endures forever is repeated through all twenty-six verses. God reminds readers of His rescue of the Israelites from captivity, leading them through the Red Sea, and the inheritance He gave them, even after forty years in the desert.

The chapter signalizes the Lord's love for His chosen people; a good reminder for me and anyone else. The bad days can be turned hopeful with this, and the good days can become even brighter with it. That however wasn't what was flooding my mind as I read the verses.

Endurance is applied to a lot of things, usually coupled with words such as perseverance or stamina. Yet, endurance is tied to the ability or strength to outlast pain, hardship, or some other undue strain. Many times, we find we are able to endure something because God loves us. (I have literally been a ball of tears on the floor, with God's love my only string to sanity.) In the midst of it all though... what does God have to endure?

Our scoffs, our angry outbursts...

Our excuses, or flat out shunning of His teachings for the sake of our own choices...

Our worship (time, energy) of idols...

Our endless repeats of the same mistakes...

Our reliance on our own strength, patience, courage, etc.

Yes, God's love endures forever. It endures for us, His crafted children. In spite of all the walls we try to build between ourselves and it.

'Give thanks to the God of heaven

His love endures forever.'

~Psalm 136:26~

God's Back

I can still have my breath taken away from reading the Bible, even after reading its stories all my life.

Many recall Moses' conference with God through the burning bush. How Moses ripped off his sandals, argued God's quest for him back to Egypt, and was finally convinced to go and free his countrymen in God's name.

But who recalls Moses' time on Mount Sinai, where God moved him into a crevice of rock, so that Moses wouldn't be destroyed as God walked by. Imagine when a bright light shears your eyeballs and you have- HAVE- to look away or risk losing eyesight. Yet, you still want to look, want to see the Creator, even at the risk of your life.

How did Moses remember to breathe, listening to God's footfalls and knowing just how CLOSE he was to his Lord (outside of Heaven)? How would you even think? And at the last second, he turns and sees a back...

... GOD'S BACK!

My brain was on fire just reading about it. A fire I never want to go out, no matter how many times I read and re-read His Word. It's how I am reminded of what God means to me because, yes, sometimes I forget. Sometimes I distract myself so much (ironically with the life that God's given me) that my stance as a Christian becomes hazy. Then I find myself reading a passage and WHAM! it hits me like a tidal wave.

And I hope it never stops knocking me over.

Depth

'O the depths of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!'

~Romans 11:33 (exclamation point added)~

I like the word depth. We all use it to describe being so enwrapped in something- a book, a movie, an artwork, or a conversation- that everything else is blurred and in the background. A fringe from being out of sight and out of mind, since your mind is preoccupied with whatever amazing thing has your attention. To me, it's like letting yourself slip beneath the surface of the water.

Ever take a breath and sink down below, just so you can float there? You can't hear much or see much, both muted by the water. But you're still able to feel! On all sides the pressure of the water rests against you, shifting when you shift, but never leaving.

It's this kind of depth that the Bible is still able to wrap around me. Never mind how many times I've read over the verses and passages, or yes, the eye rolls I've given when the verses sound cliche and repetitious. The moments remain where their truth is able to reach out and grip me hard.

The best part is how the grip never leaves.

'Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? 

If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.'

~Psalms 139:7-8~

Doubting

Sometimes it's hard to believe. Being certain of what we hope for, of what we can't see can be a tall order some days. I don't mean the traditional doubting of God's presence when bad things pile up and threaten to drown you. No, I'm talking about when your belief is the obstacle to a more intimate relation with God.

Hear me out. When we hear others testimonies, we identify with the ones that sound a lot like our own life stories. Any others, we may speculate about, like, Does God really act that way? Nah, He couldn't... could He? We become sooo absorbed in what God has been for us, yet be oblivious or insensitive to what He's been for others. His flexibility in forgiveness and loving without boundaries, and even His sense of humor (c'mon you're telling me He's kept a straight face during EVERY face plant I've endured in my life!?).

Before we know it, we've molded a limited version of God's omnipresence; one that fits in the context of our lives. Being individual pieces of God's masterpiece, THAT'S NOT A BAD THING! What could be bad is that in the race to understand our place in this world, to check and re-check our beliefs, we neglect to appreciate that way God's been working in other people's lives.

I suppose this is really a heavily worded rant about not being a self-centered Christian. But that's because I got this image in my head about how God's presence is like standing in a prism.  A prism in endless sunlight. Just when you think you've counted all the rainbows, two more show up from an angle you never thought possible.

This image reminded me that God is active. He is elbows deep in healing, freeing, and restoring the lives of so many people. Some of those people we know. But there are even more that we'll never meet this side of Heaven. Maybe what's best to remember then, is that God works His wonders in different ways for different people. Don't allow your own beliefs to hinder your growth with God or fellow believers.

(DON'T be a fool either because, ya know, false teachers and all that.)

God works in mysterious ways, but also in multiple ones. Don't doubt that.

The Season

'There is a time for everything, 

and a season for every activity under the heavens.'

~Ecclesiastes 3:1~

Yeah, so I'm brushing right past the 'BOOS' and going straight for the 'Chestnuts roasting'! Just ask Sinatra; he was lulling me toward work this morning with The First Noel. 

AHHHH fall, it's so good to have you back!

'So I comment the enjoyment of life, because there is nothing better 

for a person under the sun then to eat and drink and be glad. 

Then joy will accompany them in their toil all the days of the life

God has given them under the sun.'

~Ecclesiastes 8:15~

Axis

Y'know, I'm jealous of jugglers. Not of their actual jobs, but rather their ability to toss and weave multiple objects over their heads. They've got a handle on what I still don't after twenty-some Christian years... BALANCE!

I denounce the argument that the Bible's a whole list of 'do's and don'ts'. It's so much more then that. But it also gives you a headache.

God reminds you not to become attached to your world possessions... but take care and have pride in your crap.

He wants us to not live for this life, but for our eternal one... yet we're to make the most of the time and testimony we have here on earth.

He asks that we don't associate with sinners... ONLY WHEN WE'RE CALLED TO ASSOCIATE WITH SINNERS!

Seriously, where's the middle ground on 'towing the line' when walking for God? At times, it... is... EXCRUCIATING! And maybe that's what Satan's waiting for; for us to burn out, throw our hands up, and walk out of the office. (Or limp.)

As always though, God prepared a contingency for this. It's called rest, a break, whatever time of day it is that we take to breathe, pray, and soak ourselves in the balm of His word. I don't know what verse, chapter, or book it might be, but I know that it's the focal point. That spot that you need to keep your eye on, ensuring the only hope of balance in the midst of the wobbling tight rope of life!

Steps... Seven

'All those the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever
comes to me I will never drive away.'

~John 6:37~

April

           Two things about Alice. One, she had no stamina when it came to exercise. Two, she didn’t move recklessly, even when mad. Her madness always had a purpose; or in this case, her grief. So, where was the closest place to grieve about her father? Chase had gone three blocks from Connor’s car when it hit him and urged him into a sprint.

            The trees regaining their leaves, the shadows were growing long when he made it to the cemetery. Remembering what Alice was wearing, he picked her out immediately. Cross-legged, backpack bunched in her lap, she leaned at the foot of a dogwood... next to Falcon’s grave. She was clearly distraught, yet whole and unhurt. Chase’s lungs ballooned with fresh relief, the keychain out of his pocket. “You lose something?”

            Alice started, showing wet cheeks. Seeing Chase however, she abandoned her backpack and ran into a hug. Chase held her tight, letting his jacket get ruined with her tears. He gave it a minute, eyes on the rectangular plaque they’d made for Falcon. They’d lost him only a year after Oliver was born. They didn’t have a yard, so the cemetery had been it. A fair hike from the salon, but what did that matter to a scared kid; all they wanted to feel was safe.

            “He didn’t hurt you?” Chase pulled Alice back, giving her the once over. She scoffed, her tough tone back in place. “I never gave him the chance.”

            She took the keychain from his gingerly. “Guess it fell off when he grabbed my bag.”

            She went quiet, rolling the trinket in her palm. Chase sighed. “He needed money?”

            Alice kept herself from nodding, blinking back more tears. She stepped back, shoulders squared. “He’s always about the Benjamins… I did the math on that years ago.” 

            As much as Connor Welk had crossed his mind, Chase hadn’t thought about the letters. Sydney hadn’t allowed any more money to pass between them and- eventually- she was able to make Alice see why. They’d become less frequent, but not extinct. 

            “You’re smart like that,” Chase could admire about his stepdaughter. “So why-“

            “I wanted to change his mind.” Alice wiped her nose on her sleeve. “I thought… I prayed.”

            Chase’s heart ached for her. As a parent, it was second nature to want all their dreams and wishes to come true. Until you found yourself preparing them for a life that wouldn’t grant them. Alice straightened up, her cry over- for now. She looked up at Chase matter-of-factly. “You’re here… Michelle called you and Roman?”

            “She’s a good friend.” Chase praised with a chuckle. “We found him limping back to his car.”

            Alice smirked at that, stepping back to Falcon’s grave. Only she sat back down, mindlessly fitting her keychain on her backpack. Chase joined her, realizing it’d been awhile. When had they stopped visiting this place together? 

            “Falcon was a good friend.” Alice stated with another sniff. “I could tell him anything.”

            Chase nodded, glancing over the dedication he could read in his sleep. “I’m glad you could.”

            “Wish Ollie could’ve met him.”

            Chase agreed. But the cross between the birth of his son and the death of his dog had made him reflect a lot. “I think Falcon did his part.”

            “His part?” Alice gave him her oddball look. 

            “We didn’t get real close until he got sick.” Chase pointed out. “You started talking… we had the opportunity to trust each other.”

            “Yeah,” Alice raised her chin and quirked her brow. “He was the only part of you that was cool.”

            Boy, did she know how to cut the sentiment out of a moment! Over time, Chase came to realize it was more her personality rather then his presence.

            “I just needed one sign.” Alice pulled at the grass, still so new after the year’s snowfall. “I didn’t care whatGod used. He just needed to show me that he had changed.”

            How can I still feel in competition with this guy? Chase stayed the irrational worry. “You want me to quote about God’s plan versus the heart of man?”

            “No.” Alice bit out. “And don’t talk about him like a lost cause.”

            “He’s not. But it might not be your job to save him.”

            This angered her. “But it’s your job to be my dad?”

            She didn’t say it with disgust or malice, like the younger Alice might have. She just gave a reasonably confused question. 

            “I used to think my job was the world’s most eligible bachelor.” Chase told her. “Then your mom came along… and I found out how short-sighted my goals were.”

            “She opened your eyes?” Alice snorted.

            “Both of you did.” Chase emphasized. “And… I resisted at first.”

            He had his wallet out, heart warming at the pictures held in the center. They weren’t just of Falcon, may that beloved dog rest in peace. Chase pulled out the one of him and Sydney on their wedding day. “It was all about me, Alice… that had to be God’s intention.” He handed the picture to Alice. “On the back.”

            Alice did, frowning. “John 6:37-38. So?”

            “More of Jesus’ famous work,” Chase leaned on his palms, wanting the space to voice this right. “That first verse was for when I became a police officer. It was teaching me that I’d come across many different people, coming from tough, sad situations.”

            “Never drive them away.” Alice quoted, brow back in an arch. “And the second part?”

            “Not my will,” Chase spoke to Falcon’s plaque. “The will of him who sent me.”

            “Makes sense since God put Jesus on earth.” Alice nodded. 

            “Doesn’t mean He hasn’t sent us?” Chase put to her. “You and your mom… God used you to prove to me how wrong I was viewing my life. I guess that’s what I want you to get… He usedyou Alice.”

            He stared at her intensely now. Alice stared back, but it was clear she wasn’t connecting the dots. Maybe she wouldn’t be able to until she was a parent. But Chase had given in to God’s nudge and became a family man. And never regretted a minute of it.

            “God surprises us.” Chase summarized, putting an arm around her shoulders. “In ways we can’t always understand. But- and I say this from experience- if we roll with it, we find it’s exactly what we need.”

            Alice used her toe to scrape hardened dirt off the plaque. “Yeah?”

            What do I know about what her future holds? Chase wavered, thoughts back on Connor. But he just tightened his arm around her. “You can trust me on that.”

            Alice leaned in, no hesitation. Just a sigh that released her worries, maybe her fears, and gave them to him. “Ok, Dad.”

THE END