Thrill Me

        ‘My Interesting Life’

         Daphne Crier could think of ten better-sounding titles then that for her essay. Maybe fifteen if she felt like giving it that much of her time. But for the life of her, she couldn’t begin to conceive one solid thing to write down. And the paper had to be three pages long!

         No one’s life can possibly be three pages worth of interesting. Daphne huffed. And especially not mine! I’m fourteen; my life hasn’t had time to be interesting.

         Interesting… She was really starting to hate that word. And the paper was due on Friday; typed, double-spaced, and whole freakin’ nine yards…. she needed Pepsi! Scooting back from the dining room table, Daphne bee-lined for the refrigerator. Grinning as she reached for the handle, something long and slinky slivered from underneath the appliance. Daphne leapt back and up onto the counter, watching it dart for cover by the dishwasher. Waldo!

         “Lee!” Daphne shouted from her bird’s eye view. The snake recoiled at her voice, cowering against the wood. Daphne just glared at him. “Lee, get down here!”

         “What?” a voice followed quick footsteps and her 11-year-old brother entered the kitchen. His round brown eyes found her innocently, but Daphne looked past them and pointed furiously. “That’s what! Put Waldo back in his cage!”

         “How does he keep getting out?” Lee pondered, walking over and scooping Waldo up fearlessly. The snake really was harmless. Daphne even held him sometimes. But she had never liked the way the reptile looked at her. She lowered herself off of the countertop. “How’s he get out? Simple, you keep letting him out!”

         “He likes to roam around.” Lee shrugged. “That’s not my fault. His cage is so small…”

         “It’s a cage for a reason!” Daphne shuttered at Waldo. “Keep him in it or I’ll stuff you inside.”

         Lee thought on that for a moment, only to shrug again. “Better then you threatening to stuff Carter in the blender.”

         “That was Noah,” Daphne corrected him, eyes flaring. “Carter’s the one I would stuff in the oven.”

         “You’re a terrible sister.” Lee assessed, leaving the kitchen with Waldo exploring his shoulder.

         “It’s the only defense I have against three rotten brothers.” Daphne called after him. Shuttering one last time, she made for the fridge and her Pepsi. She had the door open and a chilled can in sight when…

         “Dapphhnnee!”

         C’mon! Her fingers were less then an inch from the can!

         “Daphie!” Noah, the Blender Boy himself, tore into the kitchen, knocking the fridge door closed. “Why’d you have the fridge open? It’ll make the house cold. I saw Lee walk by with Waldo…”

         “This had better be good.” Daphne stared down at Noah as he stood between her and the fridge. “I’ve got a paper to finish and I need pop to do it.”

         “Did you ask Dad?” Noah checked. “He’s been wanting us to eat healthier…”

         “Noah,” Daphne held up a hand to block the rambling. “Is there some reason you needed to see me?”

         “Oh!” Noah’s eyes went wide. “Carter needs your make-up. He came home with a black eye.”

         The paper joyfully forgotten, Daphne let Noah lead her up into the upstairs bathroom. It was the bathroom that she and her siblings were forced to share and Carter was rummaging through her blush and eyeliner as they walked in. Daphne shot forward, slapping his hand away. “Do you mind? I’ve got these things color-coded, Carter.”

         “Well I don’t have time to abide by your perfect princess system, Daph.” Carter picked up a pink blush cluelessly. “I need to cover this up before Dad gets home.”

         Daphne spied his left eye. The skin around it was going blue and green. She sighed heavily and began shuffling through her drawer. “Noah, go watch TV.”

         “No!” Noah crowded in between them. “I wanna hear this. Is it the same one you’ve fought before?”

         “Go be a lookout, Squirt.” Carter suggested. “Yell, ‘Hey Dad’ when you see Dad getting in the driveway.”

         Noah’s eyes lit up at the prospect of helping his eldest brother. He hurried out and back down the stairs as Daphne finally found her container of foundation.  She could spread some of the cream and follow up with the powder. Good thing she and Carter had the same skin tone. They both had dark roots, but his hair was more blond and more freckles tended to show on his nose. Also, he was taller then her by four inches… the kind of height that had him on the basketball team at the high school. Which was probably the reason behind the shiner and Carter’s cracked lip last month.

         “At least this will be easier then covering up the lip.” Daphne muttered, letting him know that she had made the connection. She unscrewed the foundation. “What happened?”

         “Don’t start.” Carter growled, posing his face for her.

         “Apparently that’s your job.” Daphne tilted his chin. “C’mon Carter. Is it the same guy that gave you the lip? Or someone new decided to pick your brain?”

         “Yeah, sure.”

         “Thanks for clearing that up.”

         “Look, will you just butt out and help me?” Carter watched her work in the mirror.

         There’s the oxymoron of my life. Daphne sulked, dabbing foundation under her brother’s eye. She was the only girl in the house and all of the men - even Dad- often pushed her out of their problems. Yet, if something was getting out of hand, who did they come running to? Her.

         Lucky me. Daphne picked up the powder brush. Doing all the saving and receiving none of the thanks…

         “Daphne!” Carter grabbed her wrist holding the powder brush. She rolled her eyes at his disgusted face. “It’ll help to cover the foundation and keep it on longer.”

         “It’s got glitter in it!” Carter protested.

         “So only show the right side of the your face at dinner tonight.” Daphne suggested, pouring on the sarcasm. Carter muttered something under his breath and Daphne punched his shoulder. “What you pull at school is your business, but not in the house.”

         Carter rubbed his shoulder, annoyed. “What’s the big deal?”

         “Our bodies being God’s temple for one.” Daphne said. “Would you bring curse words into a temple?”

         “You’re such a church girl.”

         “You’re such a heathen." Daphne pinched his chin between her fingers.

         “What’s that smell?” Carter stopped her and they both sniffed. Daphne smelled the funny-tinted burn of the air and whipped around to beat Carter out of the door. They thundered down the stairs and Daphne's pulse quickened at the smokey haze coming from the kitchen. They found Noah on his tip-toes in front of the microwave, pulling his pizza out of the smoking hole. “Noah, wait…”

         Too late! Like a slow-motion cartoon, the plate toppled and sent the pizza smacking into the floor. Its impact lined up with the fire alarm sounding off above them.

         “Ugh!” Daphne rushed over, taking the plate off, revealing the nuked pizza slice. “What did you do that for?”
         "What happened?!" Lee cried, bumping into them as he elbowed through to catch the show.

         Noah cried, angry at his spoiled pizza. “My pizza…”

         “We know.” Carter grabbed several paper towels from the roll.

         “No!” Noah huffed. “My pizza had my lizard on it.”

         Daphne wrinkled her nose as she spotted the rubber toy that had melted into the cheese and sauce.

         “Get the alarm.” Carter pleaded. Daphne sighed heavily, pushed past him, and grabbed one of the chairs out of the dining room.

         “Let me do it!” Lee said excitedly, grabbing the other side. Daphne pushed him away. “No! Go open the windows and let the smoke out.”

         Lee hurried away, happy to be given any assignment. Daphne placed the chair under the blaring alarm. It was a stretch to turn it off, but she did; only to have it replaced by the ringing of the phone.

         “I got it.” Carter said and Daphne hailed him for a rare moment as she got off the chair.

         “I’ll put that back.” Noah offered innocently. He yanked it back, hitting Daphne in the shin. Daphne bit her lip, holding the words back. My body is a temple, my body is a temple…

         “No, Chief Harmon.” Carter spoke into the phone. “Just some burnt pizza… with a nuked lizard on top. The windows are already open…”

         Lee came back into the kitchen. “Windows are open.”

         Daphne grabbed the paper towels out of Carter's hand and mopped up the gooey pizza. Carter tried to lighten the mood as he hung up the phone. "The chief won't send anybody... if he had, do you think they'd notice my eye?"

         “And you think Dad won’t.” Lee laughed, poking at his brother’s touched up eye. Carter pushed him off, straightening. “Oh man, he’ll be home any minute!” He darted for the stairs. “Quick Daphne! Get this glittery gunk off of me!”

         Daphne only considered dumping the whole container over him. Dad really needed to know about his growing track record of injuries. They obviously happened off of the school grounds, otherwise Dad would’ve received a call from the principal by now. She ordered Noah to finish with the pizza and headed back up to the bathroom. And loudly hummed ‘I Feel Pretty’ as she re-did Carter’s eye.

         “You’re such a jerk.” Carter snapped at her. Daphne smiled at him in the mirror. “And at no extra charge. You’re welcome, by the way.”

         Carter looked back at her, not fully meeting her gaze. “Don’t dwell on it, Daph.”

         “Me?” Daphne put the cream down. “Dwell?”

         “Yes, you!” Carter pointed emphatically. “Dad's... Dad's got enough to think about."

         “Mom stopped paying child support.”

         “What?” Carter looked at her, his eye forgotten. “How…”

         “Maybe I eavesdrop.” Daphne admitted with a shrug. “It’s the only way I learn anything around here."

         Carter forced her hand down. “Whatever. He only mentioned it to me because I'm the oldest. But, what's he expect me to do? I’ve got my own problems.”

         And like that, the magic spell was broken. Daphne left Carter to put the make-up away himself, stomping down the stairs. She heard the TV as she came down and felt the cold breeze drafting in from the living room. There was still the smell of smoke, but she couldn’t let her younger brothers catch a cold or worse. Slamming the sills down turned out to be therapeutic and the frosty air sweeping over her when she opened the fridge afterwards, was even more so.

         In triumph, Daphne finally reached for her Pepsi. She clenched the can tightly, popping the metal mouth open. The hiss and fizzle was music to her ears! She moved back to her homework, working on her second gulp, when she was hit from behind. Daphne was lurched against the table, the can spilling over her shirt and notebook. Her mouth fell open in horror. Then her face flamed and she whipped around to face the culprit. “Noah!!!”

         He peeked around her at the soda dripping over the table’s edge and onto the floor. “Sorry, like reallyreally sorry! I’m hungry, Daphne. That was the last slice of pizza."

         “Make a peanut butter and banana sandwich.” Daphne highlighted his favorite food, reaching for the napkin holder.

         “I had that for lunch.” Noah said.

         “Not my problem.”

         “You’re the one who made it.” Noah pointed out innocently. “I want something different. Could you make your chocolate and butterscotch cookies?”

         Daphne seethed, blotting her notebook with a fistful of napkins. “No.”

         “Macaroni and cheese?”

         “No!” Daphne grabbed more napkins. “Noah, I’m too busy. Can’t you see I’ve got homework?”

         Noah spied her notebook for the first time, then looked back up at her, puzzled. “But it’s blank.”

         His ignorant remarks couldn’t be wearing her nerves any thinner. But Daphne was only fourteen; too young to have nerves for anything beyond school cliques and zits. So why did God feel the need to dump all this on her?

         “Get some pretzels.” she ordered Noah, mopping the last of the Pepsi off of the floor. “Watch some shows with Lee. Dad’ll be home soon and then we’ll figure it out.”

         She kept her voice low, but when the napkins were thrown away, she only stared angrily at the brown stain covering her clean paper. She wasn’t going to ask Dad to buy her a new one! She’d have to turn her ‘interesting life’ essay in with the stain. Because that was the only thing her life had to offer! She picked up her pencil and found a clear white spot. Furiously, she wrote…

I HAVE THREE BROTHERS!

         And left it at that.

THE END